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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.32

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 32
Online shopping is getting popular around the globe because of the numerous linked benefits. That is the reason that it is argued that virtual buying and selling will eventually replace the in-store shopping. This essay, however moderately disagrees with the notion and will argue why traditional shopping with its exclusive perks will remain a necessity for a certain group of people. Buying through websites and social media platforms has gained significant popularity among the shoppers. Authentic portals of business giants have won the confidence of a big population because of the genuine and competitively priced products. People save on time, effort and money. That is the reason that purchases through the virtual means have increased up to 60% in the current year around the world. This trend undoubtedly has led to the closure of some physical stores because of the incapability of meeting their overhead expenses. However, despite the fact that trend of shopping through modern communication means has developed, still there is a great proportion of the population who does not even know how to operate a simple mobile phone. The 775 million illiterate people around the globe can meet their shopping needs primarily through the conventional mediums. For example, in a developing country like Pakistan, there are only 22% internet subscribers. Additionally, such technology negligent people also doubt the reliability of the product. It is difficult to gain their confidence regarding the genuineness and appropriateness of these virtually available products. In conclusion, this essay argued that people who believe that contemporary online shopping will totally replace the traditional in-store shopping have underestimated its related benefits. In my opinion, making purchases through shops though declining will always be a necessity for a significant population because of its related advantages.
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is getting popular around the globe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the numerous linked benefits.
That is
the reason that it
is argued
that virtual buying and selling will
eventually
replace the in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This essay,
however
moderately
disagrees with the notion and will argue why traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with its exclusive perks will remain a necessity for a certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
websites and social media platforms has gained significant popularity among the shoppers. Authentic portals of business giants have won the confidence of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the genuine and
competitively
priced products.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
save on time, effort and money.
That is
the reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the virtual means have increased up to 60% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
year around the world. This trend
undoubtedly
has led to the closure of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the incapability of meeting their overhead expenses.

However
, despite the fact that trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
modern communication means has developed,
still
there is a great proportion of the population who does not even know how to operate a simple mobile phone. The 775 million illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
needs
primarily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the conventional mediums.
For example
, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
like Pakistan, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% internet subscribers.
Additionally
, such technology negligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
doubt the reliability of the product. It is difficult to gain their confidence regarding the genuineness and appropriateness of these
virtually
available products.

In conclusion
, this essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that contemporary online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will
totally
replace the traditional in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have underestimated its related benefits. In my opinion, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
shops though declining will always be a necessity for a significant population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its related advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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