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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. v. 2
Indubitably, if a nation is diverse, it tends to grow more rapidly and becomes more fascinating. I completely agree with this notion as I believe that masses from different nationalities improve social and financial status of the country they are currently living in. To begin with, there is ample, powerful and almost daily evidence that a community which has people from various regions become socially strong as it has multifarious cultures and regions to offer. Furthermore, this phenomenon enables society to learn and adopt plethora of new languages which is again imperative for its social growth. To exemplify, India is recognized globally for its wide culture and traditions, and its mixed race population plays a vital role to achieve this significant diversity. To add-on, several prodigies concur that this trend gives a boost to the financial condition of any country, and the central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, it adds required competencies which host country might be lacking. For instance, some countries provide “Permanent Residence” to the citizens of different countries to have a sufficient workforce in the fields like nursing, science and technology. Secondly, it also helps to maintain a perfect blend of population with different age groups. To illustrate, many aging countries such as Canada, Australia prefer to have young people from other nations to have more earning hands. To conclude, I would like to reiterate my strong belief that a country with vast cultures and diversity will not only grow at faster pace but also become more interesting in long run.
Indubitably
, if a nation is diverse, it tends to grow more
rapidly
and becomes more fascinating. I completely
agree
with this notion as I believe that masses from
different
nationalities
improve
social and financial status of the
country
they are
currently
living in.

To
begin
with, there is ample, powerful and almost daily evidence that a community which has
people
from various regions become
socially
strong as it has multifarious cultures and regions to offer.
Furthermore
, this phenomenon enables society to learn and adopt plethora of new languages which is again imperative for its social growth. To exemplify, India
is recognized
globally for its wide culture and traditions, and its mixed race population plays a vital role to achieve this significant diversity.

To
add
-on, several prodigies concur that this trend gives a boost to the financial condition of any
country
, and the central reason behind this is twofold,
firstly
, it
adds
required competencies which host
country
might be lacking.
For instance
,
some
countries
provide “Permanent Residence” to the citizens of
different
countries
to have a sufficient workforce in the fields like nursing, science and technology.
Secondly
, it
also
helps
to maintain a perfect blend of population with
different
age groups. To illustrate,
many
aging
countries
such as Canada, Australia
prefer
to have young
people
from other nations to have more earning hands.

To conclude
, I would like to reiterate my strong belief that a
country
with vast cultures and diversity will not
only
grow at faster pace
but
also
become more interesting in long run.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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