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A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.1

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. 1
People belonging to different nations, countries and tradition have a different mindset. They think and act differently. Therefore, I believe that a culturally diverse population can generate innovative ideas which can play a very vital role in the development, growth and prosperity of a country. In the previous decades, it was extremely difficult and infeasible for an individual to settle in any other country and adopt their culture because of the rigid policies. In the past, For example, countries examined an individual thoroughly before issuing them visa to ensure that they can adjust in that environment because there was a lack of facilities and freedom for anyone coming from different nations. There was a myth that a country loses its own identity and culture when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. However, in the present era of technology, it is imperative for the countries to reevaluate the policies and craft them again to make it feasible for an individual to settle and adopt the cultural heritage. Germany, For instance, After the 2nd World War, charges no tuition fee for higher education. This policy is appealing a lot of talented students from different countries to peruse their higher education in Germany. These students become a valuable asset to the country and play an important part in the growth and development of the nation. The country also has several job opportunities for people belonging to different countries which compels them to live there and serve the country for a long period of time. In my opinion, I believe that the merits of diverse nationality in population surpass its demerits. Hence, the government should heed into this issue for the faster growth and development of the country.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
belonging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and tradition have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
mindset. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and act
differently
.
Therefore
, I believe that a
culturally
diverse population can generate innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which can play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role in the development, growth and prosperity of a country.

In the previous decades, it was
extremely
difficult and infeasible for an individual to settle in any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and adopt their culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rigid policies. In the past,
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
examined an individual
thoroughly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
issuing them visa to ensure that they can adjust in that environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was a lack of facilities and freedom for anyone coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations. There was a myth that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
loses its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity and culture when its population includes a mixture of nationalities.

However
, in the present era of technology, it is imperative for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to reevaluate the policies and craft them again to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it feasible for an individual to settle and adopt the cultural heritage. Germany,
For instance
, After the 2nd World War, charges no tuition fee for higher education. This policy is appealing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
talented students from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to peruse their higher education in Germany. These students become a valuable asset to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in the growth and development of the nation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
has several job opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
belonging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which compels them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there and serve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a long period of time.

In my opinion, I believe that the merits of diverse nationality in population surpass its demerits.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should heed into this issue for the faster growth and development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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