Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

80. Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and provide relevant examples from your own experience. v.1

80. Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. v. 1
It is often said that admitting children in boarding schools is an excellent option; however, some people are against this opinion due to various reasons. This essay will discuss the opposing views and give a conclusive opinion. On the one hand, people consider boarding school as the best option because of the benefits it brings to students. Firstly, since students live in an academic environment, there is no chance of distraction and they realise their full potential. Secondly, students learn the importance of being responsible and disciplined and gain independent living skills. For example, students do their chores, manage their time and budget and make their own decisions and choices. In addition to this, students can contact the teachers any time to clarify their doubts and there is and there is a greater opportunity to socialize with students of all kinds. By contrast, opponents of this view point out that living in an educational environment does not give emotional satisfaction to a child. Parental guidance is indispensable for children until they reach a certain age since only parents can teach certain values to children. Children like to spend their childhood with family members and if admitted in a boarding school, they might feel isolated and develop homesickness and depression. Finally, spending full time in schools causes academic pressure which affects the health of children. In conclusion, it seems that boarding school education is a better option for students to become knowledgeable individuals; however, being in boarding could be an emotionally draining experience for children and hence parents should consult their children before choosing to send their children to boarding.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that admitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is an excellent option;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are against this opinion due to various reasons. This essay will discuss the opposing views and give a conclusive opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as the best option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the benefits it brings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an academic environment, there is no chance of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
distraction and
they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their full potential.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn the importance of being responsible and disciplined and gain independent living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do their chores, manage their time and budget and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions and choices.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can contact the teachers any time to clarify their doubts and there is and there is a greater opportunity to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of all kinds.

By contrast, opponents of this view point out that living in an educational environment does not give emotional satisfaction to a child. Parental guidance is indispensable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
until they reach a certain age since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
parents can teach certain values to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
like to spend their childhood with family members and if admitted in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they might feel isolated and develop homesickness and depression.
Finally
, spending full time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
causes academic pressure which affects the health of children.

In conclusion
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
education is a better option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become knowledgeable individuals;
however
, being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
could be an
emotionally
draining experience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
hence
parents should consult their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay 80. Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts