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Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. v. 2
I tend to agree that the government should be handled to reducing environmental damage. Every year we transform the enormous amount of resources for buildings, car, plastics etc. Along with that, the enormous amount of species has become extinct. I think this global environmental problem must tackle an individual person because we are consumed and spender. We have to change habits for a better future. For example, people make it a habit to bring own shopping bag when go to shop, try to choose second hand products, try to not leave foods etc. In primary industries case, trying to not pick more than necessary cattle, crops and fishes. Moreover, you should regard when you go shopping whether the product is renewable. However, the global environment has enormous amount and complex problems, global warming, to waste foods and increasing amount of CO2 emission. Now, these problems are getting worse year after year. Therefore, they need help from government, to name a few, developing facilities of recycling station, advancing solar and wind power. Especially, solar and wind power make a lot of energy and they are obvious efficient resources. The government also need to assist with individual company that is trying to solve about these problems. The global environmental problem is not only individual country's problem, it relates to all over the world. The government should support to these programs and sound an alarm bell to people. At the same time, we should change own habit to more simple way and try to avoid waste resources.
I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
be handled
to reducing environmental damage. Every year we transform the enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of resources for buildings, car, plastics etc. Along with that, the enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of species has become extinct.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
tackle an individual person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
are consumed
and spender. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
habits for a better future.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a habit to bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
shopping bag when go to shop, try to choose second hand products, try to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
foods etc. In primary industries case, trying to not pick more than necessary cattle, crops and fishes.
Moreover
, you should regard when you go shopping whether the product is renewable.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
environment has enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
and complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming, to waste foods and increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of CO2 emission.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are getting worse year after year.
Therefore
, they need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, to name a few, developing facilities of recycling station, advancing solar and wind power.
Especially
, solar and wind power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
energy and
they are obvious efficient resources. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
need to assist with individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that is
trying to solve about these problems.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individual country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, it relates to all over the world.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should support to these programs and sound an alarm bell to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. At the same time, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
habit to more simple way and try to avoid waste resources.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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