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Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does thistrend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks? v.7

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? v. 7
Currently, including wealthy nations, several countries have been daunted by overweight issues. Although, plenty of causes are responsible for such problems; however, sedentary lifestyle is the key factor. So, eating the rainbow is the best approach towards demolishing the obesity. It has been often seen, that the highest percentage of workers have system jobs. Not only IT employees, but NON-IT market has numerous computer based vacancies; stimulates over eating of processed food, which fosters fatness. For instance, my colleagues, regularly, have package snacks while working; opt food stores Dominos, CCD, Burger Kings during break hours; order fatty food items from Zomato, Swiggy in lunch as well. Subsequently, the brands which emerge from wealthy nations, embodies a diverse variety of cuisines, mainly in non-vegetarians menus, like KFC; attracts the foodies, which increasingly making this issue very acute. For addressing such ailments, each individual must control their unbalanced dietary habits. Subsequently, to reduce sodium and saturated fat intakes, is the healthy choice, which will balance the calories as well as required fibres. For example, to eat small meals at frequent intervals, boost the metabolic process; cut down the fat. Additionally, to replace refined grains with whole grains and opt to eat fortified as well as inexpensive items, rather than devouring fried chicken. Undoubtedly, healthy eating patterns and small walks during office breaks; to adhere it, can definitely vanish the obese. To conclude, obesity is a dire epidemic in society, and each of us ought to combat against it. So far, it causes many diseases as diabetes, heart attacks. Hence, a few health concerns; low fat and soluble dietary fibres; proteins can eradicate it from the society.
Currently
, including wealthy nations, several countries have
been daunted
by overweight issues. Although,
plenty
of causes are responsible for such problems;
however
, sedentary lifestyle is the key factor.
So
, eating the rainbow is the best approach towards demolishing the obesity.

It has been
often
seen
, that the highest percentage of workers have system jobs. Not
only
IT employees,
but
NON-IT market has numerous computer based vacancies; stimulates over eating of processed food, which fosters fatness.
For instance
, my colleagues,
regularly
, have package snacks while working; opt food stores
Dominos
, CCD, Burger Kings during break hours; order fatty food items from
Zomato
,
Swiggy
in lunch
as well
.
Subsequently
, the brands which emerge from wealthy nations, embodies a diverse variety of cuisines,
mainly
in non-vegetarians menus, like KFC; attracts the foodies, which
increasingly
making this issue
very
acute.

For addressing such ailments, each individual
must
control their unbalanced dietary habits.
Subsequently
, to
reduce
sodium and saturated
fat
intakes, is the healthy choice, which will balance the calories
as well
as required
fibres
.
For example
, to eat
small
meals at frequent intervals, boost the metabolic process;
cut
down the
fat
.
Additionally
, to replace refined grains with whole grains and opt to eat fortified
as well
as inexpensive items,
rather
than devouring fried chicken.
Undoubtedly
, healthy eating patterns and
small
walks during office breaks; to adhere it, can definitely vanish the obese.

To conclude
, obesity is a dire epidemic in society, and each of us ought to combat against it.
So
far, it causes
many
diseases as diabetes, heart attacks.
Hence
, a few health concerns; low
fat
and soluble dietary
fibres
; proteins can eradicate it from the society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. What are the drawbacks? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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