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80. Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and provide relevant examples from your own experience. v.2

80. Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. v. 2
Global environment damage is one of the seventeen goal of sustainable development goals. It is included because, this issue is risking our generation and limiting their life in healthy and safe environment. Even individuals are suffering from hazardous environment for the damage. The government giving attention this issue since it was relatively minor. However, even they tried to handle the issue, individuals care is more important that government. Therefore, whenever I got asked by such question, I would definitely agree that reducing global environment damage should be handled by individuals not only government. I hundreds of reason why I disagree with question, but I would like to mention three important reason. First of all, government may manage messy recycling trashes by putting trash can for each item or they might build a technique that can eliminate trashes. Even thought, higher the population is more trashes will be recycled and this issue will stay headache for hundreds of centuries. Comparatively, If individuals manage to recycle their trash smartly like arranging or re-using, recycling process would be easier to handle. For example, personally, I arrange my trashes into five section. It includes PPT bottle, cans, glasses, battery and re-usable stuff. This is my contribution reducing global environment damage. Secondly, we all know that cannot live without water, but we mostly do not travel responsibility; we dump trashes into rivers and lakes and those trashes uneven the ecosystem of rivers and lead to decrease of water. This issue almost impossible to handle by government. For this reason, Individuals should become more responsible for saving rivers and lakes. For instance, in my home country, when people travel to the biggest lake in Mongolia, they always carry big plastic bag to collect their own trash not to damage the lake. Last but not least, everyone should choose eco-life to improve their living condition. It starts from little thing like, choosing eco-product and re-usable product. Nowadays, it looks cooler if you use cotton bag rather that plastic one and having coffee in own cup not from plastic or paper cup. In conclusion, this life threating issue is depending from individuals; how they choose, how they manage ad how they manage. Henceforth, I am fully agreeing that environment damage should by handled by us.
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
is one of the seventeen goal of sustainable development goals. It
is included
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
is risking our generation and limiting their life in healthy and safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are suffering from hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
giving attention this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
since it was
relatively
minor.
However
, even they tried to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
care is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Therefore
, whenever I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
asked by such question, I would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that reducing global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
should
be handled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I hundreds
of reason why I disagree with question,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I would like to mention three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
messy recycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trashes
by putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trash
can for each
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
item or
they might build a technique that can eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trashes
. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, higher the population is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trashes
will
be recycled
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
will stay headache for hundreds of centuries.
Comparatively
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
to recycle their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trash
smartly
like arranging or re-using, recycling process would be easier to handle.
For example
,
personally
, I arrange my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trashes
into five
Possible agreement error. The noun 'section' seems to be countable, so consider using: "sections".
section
. It includes PPT bottle, cans, glasses, battery and re-usable stuff. This is my contribution reducing global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
damage.

Secondly
, we all know that cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
mostly
do not travel responsibility; we dump
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trashes
into rivers and lakes and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trashes
uneven the ecosystem of rivers and lead to decrease of water. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
almost impossible to handle by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
should become more responsible for saving rivers and lakes.
For instance
, in my home country, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to the biggest lake in Mongolia, they always carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
plastic bag to collect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trash
not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the lake.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, everyone should choose
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-life
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their living condition. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
thing like, choosing
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-product
and re-usable product. Nowadays, it looks cooler if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cotton bag
rather
that plastic one and having coffee in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cup not from plastic or paper cup.

In conclusion
, this life
Possible spelling mistake found.
threating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is depending
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
; how they choose, how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
ad how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
. Henceforth, I am
fully
agreeing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
should
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
handled by us.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay 80. Reducing global environmental damage should be handled by governments rather than individuals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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