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793 describe an interesting hobbyyou should saywhat it iswhat kind of people do ithow it is doneand explain why you think it is interesting v.1

793 describe an interesting hobbyyou should saywhat it iswhat kind of people do ithow it is doneand explain why you think it is interesting v. 1
The process of learning a language is a long and arduous one, and the question of why people might inflict such torment on themselves is worth discussing. While some feel this pursuit is solely a practical one, allowing us to travel or live abroad, others see it as something more. From my perspective, the fluency in non-native language is beneficial in various ways. To start with, there are those who see foreign language as a functional thing needed only for communication with the locals. The skill of speaking a foreign language often determines their professional success or enjoyable holidays in a country far away from home. Foreigners’ reaction is usually much more pleasant if the speaker knows their native language and can clearly express his thoughts. For example, they can consider this person as a part of local communities and welcome to visit their houses. However, others see far more benefits in knowing non-native language. Embarking on the journey of language learning, they take it upon themselves to live and breathe it. These people immerse themselves in the culture. For instance, whether from home or while abroad, they listen to music, access websites and even read books in the target language. For them the journey is as important as the goal. I believe that there are plenty of other reasons for learning a second language besides for travelling and working abroad. Foreign language makes us broad-minded and give an access to a larger amount of information. Even the most accurate translation might change the original meaning and lead to a deviation. Furthermore, skill in a foreign language is helpful for better cognitive development as it stimulates the emergence of new neuron connections. For instance, without knowing English I would never be able to read literature in original version and would have less developed critical thinking. In conclusion, although for some learning a language will forever be connected to the aim of visiting or working in another country, for others it has clear benefits right here at home. I certainly belong to the latter group, as what I have gained from the experience of learning English goes far beyond simple tourism or employment.
The process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a long and arduous one, and the question of why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might inflict such torment on themselves is worth discussing. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel this pursuit is
solely
a practical one, allowing us to travel or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
abroad, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it as something more. From my perspective, the fluency in non-native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is beneficial in various ways.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as a functional thing needed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for communication with the locals. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of speaking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
determines their professional success or enjoyable holidays in a country far away from home. Foreigners’ reaction is
usually
much more pleasant if the speaker knows their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and can
clearly
express his thoughts.
For example
, they can consider this person as a part of local communities and welcome to visit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
far more benefits in knowing non-native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Embarking on the journey of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, they take it upon themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and breathe it. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
immerse themselves in the culture.
For instance
, whether from home or while abroad, they listen to music, access websites and even read books in the target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. For them the journey is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the goal.

I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
besides
for travelling and working abroad.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us broad-minded and give
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to a larger amount of information. Even the most accurate translation might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the original meaning and lead to a deviation.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is helpful for better cognitive development as it stimulates the emergence of new neuron connections.
For instance
, without knowing English I would never be able to read literature in original version and would have less developed critical thinking.

In conclusion
, although for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will forever
be connected
to the aim of visiting or working in another country, for others it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits right here at home. I
certainly
belong to the latter group, as what I have gained from the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
English goes far beyond simple tourism or employment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay 793 describe an interesting hobbyyou should saywhat it iswhat kind of people do ithow it is doneand explain why you think it is interesting v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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