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2679 who do you think western doctors are more reticent to prescribe medicines than their asian counterparts? v.1

2679 who do you think western doctors are more reticent to prescribe medicines than their asian counterparts? v. 1
Unprecedented consumption of packaged food is gaining momentum as people are more likely to intake this food over the homemade dishes. While this practice offers the advantage of providing free time to utilise on other works, I believe that consuming fast food has a detrimental effect on consumer's health The main advantage of eating convenience food is the availability of spare time to complete other works. Gone are the days, when people had to cook their meals for eating during breaks. Individuals, nowadays, can purchase food from eating joints- available at the each corner of every street- instead of relying on their homemade food. Thanks to this, everyone, now, has plenty of free time to devote to other works or leisure activities: sleeping for long hours, giving proper time to their children or making an assignment. A recent research by WHO revealed that an average person, especially females, are saving around an hour to take care of their wards by not making food for the lunch breaks and purchasing from cafeterias. Despite rendering free time, packaged foods adversely affect the health of individuals. Most of the packaged foods are prepared using high amounts of preservatives to lengthen their quality and several synthetic chemicals- glutamines- are used to enhance the taste of fast foods. Although it appears to be more delicious than homemade food, nutritious values of such foods are almost lost while cooking. Therefore, consumption of heavily contaminated food left individuals fall prey to several diseases, such as obesity, high blood pressure and cardiovascular problems. In England, for example, it has been found that 70 percent of office goers are overweight, given the high proportion of their daily intake consists packaged food, which deteriorate their health. In conclusion, while consuming ready to eat food can make an individual get rid of a painstaking task of cooking, I believe that consumption of such foods has ill-effects on the health of individuals. Ergo, one should adopt to homemade food in order to bypass several life-threatening diseases.
Unprecedented consumption of
packaged
food
is gaining momentum as
people
are more likely to intake this
food
over the
homemade
dishes. While this practice offers the advantage of providing free
time
to
utilise
on other works, I believe that consuming
fast
food
has a detrimental effect on consumer's
health


The main advantage of eating convenience
food
is the availability of spare
time
to complete other works. Gone
are
the days, when
people
had to cook their meals for eating during breaks.
Individuals
, nowadays, can
purchase
food
from eating joints- available at
the each
corner of every street-
instead
of relying on their
homemade
food
. Thanks to this, everyone,
now
, has
plenty
of free
time
to devote to other works or leisure activities: sleeping for long hours, giving proper
time
to their children or making an assignment. A recent research by WHO revealed that an average person,
especially
females, are saving around an hour to take care of their wards by not making
food
for the lunch breaks and purchasing from cafeterias.

Despite rendering free
time
,
packaged
foods
adversely
affect the health of
individuals
. Most of the
packaged
foods
are prepared
using high amounts of preservatives to lengthen their quality and several synthetic chemicals-
glutamines
- are
used
to enhance the taste of
fast
foods
. Although it appears to be more delicious than
homemade
food
, nutritious values of such
foods
are almost lost while cooking.
Therefore
, consumption of
heavily
contaminated
food
left
individuals
fall prey to several diseases, such as obesity, high blood pressure and cardiovascular problems. In England,
for example
, it has
been found
that 70 percent of office goers are overweight,
given
the high proportion of their daily intake consists
packaged
food
, which deteriorate their health.

In conclusion
, while consuming ready to eat
food
can
make
an
individual
get
rid of a painstaking task of cooking, I believe that consumption of such
foods
has ill-effects on the health of
individuals
. Ergo, one should
adopt to
homemade
food
in order to bypass several life-threatening diseases.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2679 who do you think western doctors are more reticent to prescribe medicines than their asian counterparts? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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