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753 first some people think that education should be about memorizing the important ideas of the past. do you agree? v.1

753 first some people think that education should be about memorizing the important ideas of the past. do you agree? v. 1
Due to the technology enhancement, people can read and watch any news around the world. Certain folks think that the physical form of journal and magazines will be vanished in coming years. This essay will will partially concur with the above notion due to numerous advantage and disadvantage. Firstly, this essay will discuss how the physical form of newspaper is important and secondly, why there will no printing of paper and magazine in the upcoming years. On the one hand, the major advantage of having a hard copy of the newspaper is that we can refer it effortlessly whenever needed. Moreover, reading manual newspaper will not have negative effects on health like eye strain, vision problem and so on. However, this method is time consuming and they have to keep that securely. For instance, an ophthalmologist department of the UK did a survey and found that 70% of individuals have spectacles because they used to read online newspapers. On the other hand, at present, communities have habitual to use a computer and this has made them more addicted to use e- technology. Additionally, folks are not having enough time in this fast pace life where they can sit and read. Thus, all most every youth preferred e- magazine to read as they find easy availability and no need for carrying all the time safe. For instance, Indian adult generation data on e- reading depicted that 80% of adolescents choose to read news online or through various websites rather than buying manual one. Hence. This essay will believe that based on new generation preference, there might be the stop in printing. But, there are older people who do not know how to surf the new technology, therefore, go for buying a hard copy of the daily journals. In conclusion, as far as I can see, there might be the end or might not. But, Newspaper and magazine are the indeed requirement of an individual'S daily life. No matter what the method they prefer to read, but they definitely have a curiosity of knowing what is happening in the world.
Due to the technology enhancement,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
around the world. Certain folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the physical form of journal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
will
be vanished
in coming years. This essay
Possible typo: you repeated a word
will will
partially
concur with the above notion due to numerous advantage and disadvantage.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss how the physical form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
secondly
, why there will no printing of paper and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
in the upcoming years.

On the one hand, the major advantage of having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is that we can refer it
effortlessly
whenever needed.
Moreover
, reading manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
will not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on health like eye strain, vision problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, this method is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
that
securely
.
For instance
, an ophthalmologist department of the UK did a survey and found that 70% of individuals have spectacles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
online newspapers.

On the other hand
, at present, communities have habitual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a computer and this has made them more addicted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
e- technology.
Additionally
, folks are not having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace life where they can sit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
.
Thus
, all
The phrase 'most every' is colloquial. In formal/ written English you should avoid it. Use "almost every" instead!
most every
youth preferred e-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
as they find easy availability and no need for carrying all the time safe.
For instance
, Indian adult generation data on e- reading depicted that 80% of adolescents choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
online or through various websites
rather
than buying manual one.

Hence
. This essay will believe that based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation preference, there might be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
in printing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, there are older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not know how to surf the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology,
therefore
, go for buying a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy of the daily journals.

In conclusion
, as far as I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, there might be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
or might not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspaper
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
are the
indeed
requirement of an
Did you mean "individual's"?
individual'S
daily life. No matter what the method they prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they definitely have a curiosity of knowing what is happening in the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 753 first some people think that education should be about memorizing the important ideas of the past. do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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