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Some people believe that parents should not give expensive gifts to their children Do you agree or disagree with the statement v.1

Some people believe that parents should not give expensive gifts to their children v. 1
With the growth in internet technology, students are learning through it by sitting at their homes, so certain individuals believe that educational institutes are not needed anymore. I completely disagree with the notion because, in schools, learners learn according to the curriculum, and they develop their skills while studying there. To commence with, the schools are necessary because teachers in schools teach children according to the syllabus made by the educational experts. Therefore, they learn only those topics which are essential. As a result, it saves a lot of time and efforts. Whereas, on the internet, there may be a vast material available for a particular topic, thus by learning from it can be a waste of time and energy. For example, according to a survey conducted in a newspaper, it is found that students who studied in educational institutes have more precise knowledge of subjects as compared to the learners who learned by themselves at home through the internet. Hence, schools are vital to gain information in less time. Moreover, when learners go to school, they meet with their peers and also participate in events that are organized by the institute. This practice not only improves their communication skills, but also their mental ability, which may help them in their future to secure a reputed job. For instance, in a survey conducted by Cambridge University, it is found that there are 50 percent more chances of getting a job when students are educated from in comparison to at home through the internet. Thus, it makes the future bright for learners. To summarize, I believe that schools play a significant role in educating children. They can learn through guided material as well as develops their skills vital to acquire a job.
With the growth in internet technology, students are learning
through
it by sitting at their homes,
so
certain individuals believe that educational institutes are not needed anymore. I completely disagree with the notion
because
, in
schools
, learners learn according to the curriculum, and they develop their
skills
while studying there.

To commence with, the
schools
are necessary
because
teachers in
schools
teach children according to the syllabus made by the educational experts.
Therefore
, they learn
only
those topics which are essential.
As a result
, it saves
a lot of
time and efforts. Whereas, on the internet, there may be a vast material available for a particular topic,
thus
by learning from it can be a waste of time and energy.
For example
, according to a survey conducted in a newspaper, it
is found
that students who studied in educational institutes have more precise knowledge of subjects as compared to the learners who learned by themselves at home
through
the internet.
Hence
,
schools
are vital to gain information in less time.

Moreover
, when learners go to
school
, they
meet
with their peers and
also
participate in
events
that
are organized
by the institute. This practice not
only
improves
their communication
skills
,
but
also
their mental ability, which may
help
them in their future to secure a reputed job.
For instance
, in a survey conducted by Cambridge University, it
is found
that there are 50 percent more chances of getting a job when students
are educated
from
in comparison
to at home
through
the internet.
Thus
, it
makes
the future bright for learners.

To summarize
, I believe that
schools
play a significant role in educating children. They can learn
through
guided material
as well
as develops their
skills
vital to acquire a job.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that parents should not give expensive gifts to their children v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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