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The internet has dramatically altered over lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v.1

The internet has dramatically altered over lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 1
It is argued that high-level degrees from universities and colleges are helpful in getting high paying jobs, while others say that experience at work is the main reason for well-paying job. I agree that knowledge of work will lead to high pay jobs. This essay discusses points of both views. To begin with, many educational institutes evidence the best level of training to student for their careers. It makes them to qualify for better jobs with competitive pay or higher pay. Universities and colleges have many different kinds of courses which link to the requirements of companies. These institutes have efficiently designed their curriculum to meet all the current working needs. But it is true that different companies want to hire only specific skilled people for specific tasks. For instance, one year before, my friend got a placement in multinational company. Although He has a master’s degree, they offered him 25% less salary due to lack of practice in the work. On the other side, It is clear that if someone wants high paying jobs so one should be an expert in their field. Most companies require skilled persons with huge working knowledge. Over the time, one enhances their knowledge in a specific stream. This makes him a high demand skill worker for well-paying jobs. For example, it is observed during the searching for the job that most companies are asking the experienced candidate. They are willing to give him very high salaries. Based on the above views, therefore, I believe that experience plays a vital role in achieving a job opportunity with high wages. In conclusion, according to some belief that high-level degree is the potential source to get high paying jobs. However In my view experience makes the person valuable to company for certain jobs. They do not need to train him for specific tasks, so the person gets higher salaries.
It
is argued
that high-level degrees from universities and colleges are helpful in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, while others say that experience at work is the main reason for well-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that knowledge of work will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This essay discusses points of both views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational institutes evidence the best level of training to student for their careers. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to qualify for better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with competitive pay or higher pay. Universities and colleges have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of courses which link to the requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. These institutes have
efficiently
designed their curriculum to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
working needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
want to hire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
tasks.
For instance
, one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a placement in multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Although He has a master’s degree, they offered him 25% less salary due to lack of practice in the work.

On the other side, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that if someone wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one should be an expert in their field. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
require skilled persons with huge working knowledge. Over the time, one enhances their knowledge in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
stream. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
demand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
worker for well-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, it
is observed
during the searching for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are asking the experienced candidate. They are willing to give him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries.

Based on the above views,
therefore
, I believe that experience plays a vital role in achieving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
wages.

In conclusion
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
belief that high-level degree is the potential source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
In my view experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the person valuable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. They do not need to train him for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specific
tasks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
higher salaries.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has dramatically altered over lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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