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740 the second in terms of personality, are people more influenced by their family or by their friends? v.1

740 the second in terms of personality, are people more influenced by their family or by their friends? v. 1
The process of new employee induction has always been strict, as each organization aspires to have the best candidate on board. In this activity every company should focus more towards personal traits of a person instead of their academic and work profile. I believe, a model employee posses both the needed degrees as well as soft skills such as leadership qualities, team building qualities and also should be of high moral character. Although work experience along with appropriate qualification is a necessity, the capacity of a person to work as a fruitful team member is also a must. For instance, if a prospect employee possesses a vast experience in Project Management along with the esteemed Certification from PMI institute, but upon psychiatric evaluation it is confirmed that he has a narcissistic personality, then it would be unwise to hire such person whose core job is to manage and motivate people into doing the work. Thus, apart from professional standing a person should be able to adopt the company culture. Furthermore, a beneficial employee would be the person who has high moral values. For example, if a person is dishonest in his job application, then despite all his fancy diplomas he should be unfit for any organization. This is because he lied to the corporation for personal gratification and what if in the future for his personal benefit he sells a corporate secret? The best employee is the one who is a loyal employee, even though he might somewhat under-qualified. In conclusion, every corporations' recruitment process must select prospective employees on the basis of their personal traits and moral standards instead of just selecting purely on the job profile.
The process of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
induction has always been strict, as each organization aspires to have the best candidate on board. In this activity every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should focus more towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
traits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
instead
of their academic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
profile. I believe, a model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
posses both the needed degrees
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as leadership qualities, team building qualities and
also
should be of high moral character.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience along with appropriate qualification is a necessity, the capacity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a fruitful team member is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.
For instance
, if a prospect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
possesses a vast experience in Project Management along with the esteemed Certification from PMI institute,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
upon psychiatric evaluation it
is confirmed
that he has a narcissistic personality, then it would be unwise to hire such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
whose core job is to manage and motivate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
into doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Thus
, apart from professional standing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should be able to adopt the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
culture.

Furthermore
, a beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
would be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who has high moral values.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is dishonest in his job application, then despite all his fancy diplomas he should be unfit for any organization. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he lied to the corporation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
gratification and what if in the future for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
benefit he sells a corporate secret? The best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is the one who is a loyal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
,
even though
he might somewhat under-qualified.

In conclusion
, every corporations' recruitment process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
select prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
on the basis of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
traits and moral standards
instead
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
selecting
purely
on the job profile.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 740 the second in terms of personality, are people more influenced by their family or by their friends? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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