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It is more important for students to read books about real events than it is for them to read novels. v.1

It is more important for students to read books about real events than it is for them to read novels. v. 1
It is argued by some people that in recent times we have too many things to choose from. I agree with this, but having so many options enables consumers to purchase more comparatively priced and higher quality products. There is some truth in the argument that these days we have far too many choices which can be overwhelming; however, I think that having so many options is a positive phenomenon because it makes businesses compete with each other. This means that consumers can benefit greatly from prices coming down. To illustrate this, over the past two decades Ryanair and EasyJet budget airlines considerably reduced the cost of airfares for flights all over Europe. Before this, there was only one airline to choose from exorbitant costs. Presently, many more budget airline options are serving every European destination with incredible bargains for customers. Another reason why I believe that more choice is beneficial is that the quality of products has improved in recent years. This is because with so many businesses vying for a customer's attention, their main selling points are not only low prices but also much higher quality. For instance, smartphone costs have decreased in the past 5 years and handsets are more powerful and more durable than ever before. This is down to the fact that manufacturers have focused on quality control to compete with rival products. This has certainly been beneficial to consumers and would not have been possible with one or two companies monopolising the smartphone market. To conclude, despite the argument that there is too much freedom of choice nowadays, I think this is a positive trend as the plethora of options allows customers to buy inexpensive items without compromising on quality.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that in recent times we have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to choose from. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
enables consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more
comparatively
priced and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
products.

There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth in the argument that these days we have far too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices which can be overwhelming;
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
businesses compete with each other. This means that consumers can benefit
greatly
from prices coming down. To illustrate this, over the past two decades
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ryanair
and EasyJet budget airlines
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the cost of airfares for flights all over Europe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
this, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one airline to choose from exorbitant costs.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more budget airline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
are serving every European destination with incredible bargains for customers.

Another reason why I believe that more choice is beneficial is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of products has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in recent years. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businesses vying for a customer's attention, their main selling points are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
low prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
much higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
For instance
, smartphone costs have decreased in the past 5 years and handsets are more powerful and more durable than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This is down to the fact that manufacturers have focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
control to compete with rival products. This has
certainly
been beneficial to consumers and would not have been possible with one or two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
Possible spelling mistake. 'monopolising' is British English.
monopolising
the smartphone market.

To conclude
, despite the argument that there is too much freedom of choice nowadays, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend as the plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
inexpensive items without compromising on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for students to read books about real events than it is for them to read novels. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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