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6. Some universities hold classes Monday through Thursday, while others hold them from Monday through Friday. Which do you prefer, and why? v.1

6. Some universities hold classes Monday through Thursday, while others hold them from Monday through Friday. Which do you prefer, and why? v. 1
Holding sports competition is thought to be troublesome by some people, however, others believe the excitement it generates is worth going through the trouble. I think sports has always been an integral part of humans ever since the Olympics and in this essay I will discuss both the sides of the argument. Competitive sports generate a lot of interest and publicity nowadays and it is viewed as an opportunity to showcase what people are capable of in the field of athletics and sports. For instance, holding the National level cricket competition in India attract fans from all over the world. Such competitions have shown the world the top-level India stands in the game of cricket and it brings together people with same interest also leading to income in revenue from tourism. Also the players get to compete in world championship level and make our country proud. According to some people, holding such events often creates a lot of trouble and think such events should be discontinued. Many a times we see the rivalry between the competing teams often lead to escalated fights and causes injuries to many people. Also, the arrangement takes up a lot of time, money and efforts for the competition to run smoothly and this leads to people thinking it is not worth the trouble. Even if this is achieved lots of people attending sporting competitions leave a trail of litter which the management has to pay to clear it out. To conclude, I believe sports are essential part of our lives and having competitions help to bring out the best in people. It is a chance for players to show what they got and a chance for viewers to cheer and experience the thrill of sports.
Holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be troublesome by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, others believe the excitement it generates is worth going through the trouble. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has always been an integral part of humans ever since the Olympics and in this essay I will discuss both the sides of the argument.

Competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
generate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of interest and publicity nowadays and it
is viewed
as an opportunity to showcase what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are capable of in the field of athletics and sports.

For instance
, holding the National level cricket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in India attract fans from all over the world. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
have shown the world the top-level India stands in the game of cricket and it brings together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with same interest
also
leading to income in revenue from tourism.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the players
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to compete in world championship level and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our country proud.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, holding such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of trouble and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
should
be discontinued
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the rivalry between the competing teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to escalated fights and causes injuries to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, the arrangement takes up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time, money and efforts for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
to run
smoothly
and this leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
thinking it is not worth the trouble.
“Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even if
this
is achieved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a trail of litter which the management
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
it out.

To conclude
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are essential part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to bring out the best in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is a chance for players to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
and a chance for viewers to cheer and experience the thrill of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 6. Some universities hold classes Monday through Thursday, while others hold them from Monday through Friday. Which do you prefer, and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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