Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below shows the average household spending pattern for households inthree income categories as a proportion of their income. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and makecomparisons where relevant. v.1

The chart below shows the average household spending pattern for households inthree income categories as a proportion of their income.
In the last few decades, there has been a frequent migration of youth from the countryside to cities and towns, leaving behind their elderly in their hometown. Though, the transition of these people leads to their self-growth, there are some repercussions associated with this transition. In my essay, I will highlight a few drawbacks associated with this issue and also, provide some solutions to overcome them. Nowadays, it is commonly seen that the young people from rural areas relocate to developed cities, either for higher education or to earn a living, leaving behind their older counterparts. Ultimately, as they get accustomed to the modern lifestyles of cities, they rarely get enough time to look after the overall growth and development of these underdeveloped areas. As a result, these places remain backward economically and suffer from poor infrastructure. For example, it was reported in “The Times Of India” that there is approximately 20 to 30 % influx of young people in cities every year, which has resulted in poor health and educational conditions in the countryside. If this trend continues for few more generations, then there would be a time when condition of these areas would deteriorate, and illiteracy and epidemics would flourish. Although, these problems hamper the overall growth of the villages, it can be controlled by certain Government policies. To illustrate, the government should incorporate rules, according to which, every individual should contribute a portion of their income for the overall upliftment of their home-village. Also, visiting their domicile, after a certain period of time should be made mandatory. If these rules are strictly followed, the suburbs will get sufficient funds for their development and due to the timely visits, the youth will remain emotionally attached to them. In conclusion, the movement of young people from villages to cities, leaving behind the old people, results in underdevelopment of these places. But, it can be overcome by stringent government policies, making it compulsory for the youth to visit the countryside and by contributing a portion of their pay for their growth.
In the last few decades, there has been a frequent migration of youth from the countryside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns, leaving behind their elderly in their hometown. Though, the transition of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leads to their self-growth, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
repercussions associated with this transition. In my essay, I will highlight a few drawbacks associated with this issue and
also
, provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to overcome them.

Nowadays, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural areas relocate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, either for higher education or to earn a living, leaving behind their older counterparts.
Ultimately
, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to the modern lifestyles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, they rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after the
overall
growth and development of these underdeveloped areas.
As a result
, these places remain backward
economically
and suffer from poor infrastructure.
For example
, it
was reported
in “The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
Of India” that there is approximately 20 to 30 % influx of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
every year, which has resulted in poor health and educational conditions in the countryside. If this trend continues for few more generations, then there would be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when condition of these areas would deteriorate, and illiteracy and epidemics would flourish.

Although, these problems hamper the
overall
growth of the villages, it can
be controlled
by certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
policies. To illustrate, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should incorporate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, according to which, every individual should contribute a portion of their income for the
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
of their home-village.
Also
, visiting their domicile, after a certain period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be made
mandatory. If these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are
strictly
followed, the suburbs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient funds for their development and due to the timely visits, the youth will remain
emotionally
attached to them.

In conclusion
, the movement of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from villages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, leaving behind the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, results in underdevelopment of these places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it can
be overcome
by stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies, making it compulsory for the youth to visit the countryside and by contributing a portion of their pay for their growth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The chart below shows the average household spending pattern for households inthree income categories as a proportion of their income.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts