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WRITING TASK 1You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, an v.1

WRITING TASK 1 The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006.
A lot of young children now have unguided access to the internet and they are using it as a means of meeting other people. The repercussions can pose a dangerous position for kids. The challenges of unguided access to the internet which these kids stand to face involves, being exposed to pornography and dating strangers online. Although, these problems can be solved. On the one hand, unguided access to the internet for kids exposes them to pornography. When a child visits the internet without being monitored, it opens him up to nude pictures and videos which can destroy his mental development at that age. He may pick up vices that are detrimental to his general development. For example, a recent survey in Nigeria showed that the percentage of children who were exposed online without guidance picked up vices, of which pornography was the highest. Secondly, exposure to the internet without control, exposes children to online dating with strangers. Dating a stranger online can lead to loss of life and sexual exploitation. This is capable of putting them in a dangerous position of leaving home without the knowledge of their parents or guidance. To illustrate further, in Chicago, underage girls who were rescued from a house where they were sexual molested stated that they all got to know about their molester via dating sites. In order to curtail these challenges, it is pertinent to have a parental guidance as to the type of websites visited by a child. It is also important to monitor their use of the internet at odd hours of the day. In conclusion, allowing kids to have access to the internet without guidance can expose them to pornography and adult dating. However, these challenges can be curtailed if the child's access online is guided.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
young children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have unguided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they are using it as a means of meeting other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The repercussions can pose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
position for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. The challenges of unguided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the internet which these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
stand to face involves,
being exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pornography
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
strangers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, these problems can
be solved
.

On the one hand, unguided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
exposes them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pornography
. When a child visits the internet without
being monitored
, it opens him up to nude pictures and videos which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
his mental development at that age. He may pick up vices that are detrimental to his general development.
For example
, a recent survey in Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the percentage of children who
were exposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
picked up vices, of which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pornography
was the highest.
Secondly
, exposure to the internet without control, exposes children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
with strangers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Dating
a stranger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can lead to loss of life and sexual exploitation. This is capable of putting them in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
position of leaving home without the knowledge of their parents or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
. To illustrate
further
, in Chicago, underage girls who
were rescued
from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
where they were sexual molested stated that they all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about their molester via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
sites.

In order to curtail these challenges, it is pertinent to have a parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
as to the type of websites visited by a child. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to monitor their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet at odd hours of the day.

In conclusion
, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the internet without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
can expose them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pornography
and adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dating
.
However
, these challenges can
be curtailed
if the child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is guided
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay WRITING TASK 1 The graph below shows the amount in grams of potatoes, pasta and rice eaten in a European country between 1976 and 2006.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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