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58. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place. v.2

58. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place. v. 2
We have witnessed radical changes in living condition of today’s life of people in comparison with the past. With the arrival of technology and science, standard of living has been improved from various facets. When it comes to the the quality of an individual’s life, controversy surrounds the issue of whether great deal of development in people’s lives has been occurred or not. Some people are of the opinion that there are sufficient facilities in their lives which contribute to such satisfactory life for them. I believe, however, our lives need more improvement for the following reasons. One of the most interesting aspects of the current discussion which needs a keen contemplation is that although communication tools has progressed, there are some negative consequences which must be solved. People have at least one cell phone. They communicate with each other by such practical tools freely just through connecting to the Internet. For example, they can download free application such as Viber, Skype, and Whats’app, and then install them on their cell phones to contact without having to pay for telephone bills. However, there are some disadvantages such as detrimental microwave radiation of cell phones which adversely impacts our well-being such as headache, infertility, and other physical and mental problems. As you can see, our daily communication tools, which create such unsatisfactory condition, need to be improved. Another notheworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion which demands to be reflected is that there are many patients suffer from inadequate medical treatment. Our intelligent scientists have saved the lives of many patients who were prone to infectious diseases by inventing vaccine. They also with the invention of a wide variety of diagnostic tools such as higly advanced X-ray machines and scanner to identify peopl’s diseases have been able to eradicate many fatal diseases. But there are many patients who cannot resume their normal lives due to organ failures. Because after transplantation, the patient might face rejected organ which would be serious threaten to his/her life. As a result, we cannot be satisfied with such condition and quality of life until we do more researches to find some approaches to deal with such condition. To sum up, not only improving communication tools but also curing all kinds of terminal diseases are the results of lack of improvement in our living conditions. I hope that all researches make attempt to create some methods and approached without negative outcomes.
We have witnessed radical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in comparison
with the past. With the arrival of technology and science, standard of living has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
from various facets. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
quality of an individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, controversy surrounds the issue of whether great deal of development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
has
been occurred
or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that there are sufficient facilities in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
which contribute to such satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for them. I believe,
however
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
need more improvement for the following reasons.

One of the most interesting aspects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
discussion which needs a keen contemplation is that although communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
has progressed, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be solved
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have at least one cell phone. They communicate with each other by such practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
through connecting to the Internet.
For example
, they can download free application such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viber
, Skype, and
Possible spelling mistake found
Whats
’app, and then install them on their cell phones to contact without having to pay for telephone bills.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as detrimental microwave radiation of cell phones which
adversely
impacts our well-being such as headache, infertility, and other physical and mental problems. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, our daily communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
, which create such unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
, need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Another
Possible spelling mistake found.
notheworthy
aspect of the ongoing discussion which demands to
be reflected
is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
suffer from inadequate medical treatment. Our intelligent scientists have saved the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
who were prone to infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
by inventing vaccine. They
also
with the invention of a wide variety of diagnostic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
higly
advanced X-ray machines and scanner to identify
Possible spelling mistake found.
peopl
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
have been able to eradicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patients
who cannot resume their normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
due to organ failures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
after transplantation, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
patient
might face rejected organ which would be serious threaten to his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
As a result
, we cannot
be satisfied
with such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
until we do more researches to find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
approaches to deal with such condition.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
improving communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
curing all kinds of terminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are the results of lack of improvement in our living conditions. I hope that all researches
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
attempt to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods and approached without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay 58. Although science and technology will continue to improve, the most significant improvement for the quality of people's lives have already taken place. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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