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55) Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

55) A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
The early stage of an adolescent demands toys to play which make them engaged and boost up their memory because most of the toys are now manufactured with advance hi-tech technologies. Few parents brought their kids a large amount of toys to play with, in order to make them feel happy. The essay will highlight both pros and cons of having a large number of toys. Can toys having gaming activities can help in developing the brain of an offspring? As per the survey conducted by the world child care centre in 2019, various companies are manufacturing playing gadgets based on phonetics, which can pronounce the English alphabets thereby increasing the understanding of the language more easily and accurately. Modern toys are designed to be educational as well as fun, and concerned parents carefully select products which might speed their child's acquisition of numbers or the alphabets. In contrast, having large number of toys are disadvantageous too, because kids behave mischievously and they start playing with them immediately after waking up, which will definitely disturb their health. According to the article published in the 2013 edition, one lady shared her experience, she said her child was fond of toys like cars, scooters and bikes and had a huge collection of them, so she bought him an electric car on his birthday and unfortunately he met with an accident. To conclude, providing children with more toys is not as straightforward as it first appears, therefore it is a big responsibility of parents to check if their kids really require more toys and should also observe the manufacturing quality of the product to avoid any serious injury.
The early stage of an adolescent demands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to play which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them engaged and boost up their memory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
manufactured with advance hi-tech technologies. Few parents brought their kids a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
to play with, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel happy. The essay will highlight both pros and cons of having
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
toys.

Can
The verb 'Can' requires the base form of the verb: "toy"
toys
having gaming activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in developing the brain of an offspring? As per the survey conducted by the world child care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in 2019, various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are manufacturing playing gadgets based on phonetics, which can pronounce the English alphabets thereby increasing the understanding of the language more
easily
and
accurately
. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are designed
to be educational
as well
as fun, and concerned parents
carefully
select products which might speed their child's acquisition of numbers or the alphabets.

In contrast
, having large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are disadvantageous too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
kids behave
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mischievously and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
playing with them immediately after waking up, which will definitely disturb their health. According to the article published in the 2013 edition, one lady shared her experience, she said her child was fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
like cars, scooters and bikes and had a huge collection of them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
him an electric car on his birthday and unfortunately he met with an accident.

To conclude
, providing children with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
is not as straightforward as it
first
appears,
therefore
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibility of parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if their kids
really
require more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
and should
also
observe the manufacturing quality of the product to avoid any serious injury.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay 55) A person should never make an important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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