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Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of liv v.3

Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of liv v. 3
It is often argued by some that the best present for teens to give is cash, while others think that there are other things can be given as a gift for them. Whilst the discussion of both the views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter view. On the one hand, presenting money to younger ones will help them to buy things as per their wish. That is to say, they have their own interests or desire to buy certain products which will not be known to anyone. In addition, they may save the money and utilise it whenever they are in crisis. For example, in India, parents taught their children to save the amount which they are receiving as gift from someone for any occasion and use it later when they really want to buy some items. However, I do not support this notion because it may lead the youth to buy some unwanted items without knowing the consequences of it which ends up in ruining their life. On the other hand, teenagers can remember the occasion when they receive the present as memorable item rather than money. In other words, it will aid them to know about the care and affection of the person who is gifting it to them. Furthermore, it will enhances the true bonding relationship with them which will immensely help them to cherish it forever. In my experience, for instance, when I was in my tertiary education, I got a Tanjore painting as a birthday gift from my friend and it is still hanging in my home which is one of the best gift, I have with me. In my opinion, I agree with this view as giving momentum in the form of items rather than money will make the person feel happy and think about the love and care for them will create intimacy with them. In conclusion, although giving cash gift helps the adolescent to fulfil their wish by buying their own items, I believe presenting remarkable things will show their caring heart to teens and make them to keep with them forever.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the best present for teens to give is cash, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
for them. Whilst the discussion of both the views is worthwhile, I am a supporter of the latter view.

On the one hand, presenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to younger ones will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things as per their wish.
That is
to say, they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests or desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
certain products which will not
be known
to anyone.
In addition
, they may save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
it whenever they are in crisis.
For example
, in India, parents taught their children to save the amount which they are receiving as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
from someone for any occasion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it later when they
really
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
However
, I do not support this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may lead the youth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
without knowing the consequences of it which ends up in ruining their life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can remember the occasion when they receive the present as memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it will aid them to know about the care and affection of the person who is gifting it to them.
Furthermore
, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "enhance"
enhances
the true bonding relationship with them which will
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to cherish it forever. In my experience,
for instance
, when I was in my tertiary education, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tanjore
painting as a birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
from my friend and it is
still
hanging in my home which is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
, I have with me. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view as giving momentum in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the person feel happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care for them will create intimacy with them.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, although giving cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the adolescent to fulfil their wish by buying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, I believe presenting remarkable things will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their caring heart to teens and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
with them forever.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Students at universities often have a choice of places to live. They may choose to live in university dormitories, or they may choose to live in apartments in the community. Compare the advantages of living in university housing with the advantages of liv v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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