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Tpo 53Using points and the examples from the talk, explain two ways of preventing food spoilage and why they are effective. v.1

Tpo 53Using points and the examples from the talk, explain two ways of preventing food spoilage and why they are effective. v. 1
It is often argued that college students should study as per their choice, while others believe that teenage students should be encouraged to pursue subjects, which are beneficial in the long-term such as science and information technology. While subjects such as science and information technology are relevant to secure graduate's career, I believe that personal choice of the subjects keeps students focused and help them excel in a particular field. Subjects which are recommended to study, and to secure future are those which are high in demand and have a plethora of job options. Area of study such as medical science and information technology are significant contributors in the society's development, which is why it provides an abundance of career options. For example, as per a report published by an employment research organization of Silicon Valley, every country needs 17% of new doctors and 19% Information technology professionals every year. Despite this, I would argue that a student's personal choice to study is more important than this. Students who choose their subjects to study as per their interest and not by recommendations, often deliver remarkable results. Graduates who choose their own interest to study, always have a commendable knowledge of the subjects and a zeal for continuous learning. For instance, as per the latest interviews of few successful individuals were printed in the newspaper The times of India that a fact was captured between them is every of them studied what among desired rather than any influential recommendation. In conclusion, while academic areas as per recommendations are only better to secure future, I believe when students opt for studies, what they want to, then they do an exceptional job in that field, which also contributes to a fraternity's development.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as per their choice, while others believe that teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be encouraged
to pursue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which are beneficial in the long-term such as science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are relevant to secure graduate's career, I believe that personal choice of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
focused and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them excel in a particular field.

Subjects which
are recommended
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, and to secure future are those which are high in demand and have a plethora of job options. Area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
such as medical science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are significant contributors in the society's development, which is why it provides an abundance of career options.
For example
, as per a report published by an employment research organization of Silicon Valley, every country needs 17% of new doctors and 19%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
professionals every year. Despite this, I would argue that a student's personal choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than this.

Students who choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as per their interest and not by recommendations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deliver remarkable results. Graduates who choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, always have a commendable knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and a zeal for continuous learning.
For instance
, as per the latest interviews of few successful individuals
were printed
in the newspaper
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
The times of India
that a fact
was captured
between them is every of them studied what among desired
rather
than any influential recommendation.

In conclusion
, while academic areas as per recommendations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
better to secure future, I believe when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, what they want to, then they do an exceptional job in that field, which
also
contributes to a fraternity's development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Tpo 53Using points and the examples from the talk, explain two ways of preventing food spoilage and why they are effective. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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