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54. If you unexpectedly receive a large amount of money, what will you do withit? Would you spend it for practical purposes or simply for fun? State youropinion and explain your reasons. v.1

54. If you unexpectedly receive a large amount of money, what will you do withit? Would you spend it for practical purposes or simply for fun? State youropinion and explain your reasons. v. 1
Nowadays, for individual counties and people, environmental problems are becoming more and more tremendous and to solve them, they need to get help from developed ones. I completely agree with this statement since it can bring a lot of advantages. To start, there are a surprisingly large number of benefits if other thrived countries enable individual ones. One of them is making closer ties with each other because by helping with different environmental issues there may come people from other countries to help them. And as a result, local people and individuals who came can become friends by working together. Another useful side is protecting themselves too from environmental impediments. For example, there might be a problem with increasing rubbish which can lead to various air pollution or water contamination and that can also affect other countries. That is why, if these countries support undeveloped countries where these types of drawbacks a lot, it can be beneficial for all of them. Furthermore, reach countries also can help poor ones by giving diverse special modern devices for reducing matter with the environment. Such as electronic cars or robots which can be really beneficial in decreasing these problems. However, some people think that these problems should be resolved without any help. By leading people to be more responsible with claiming do not throw rubbish on the ground or making fines if they do not stop it. Beside they feel that the government should create more recycling buildings and plant more trees as well. In consequence, it can help them to solve these matters, they believe. In conclusion, it is very valuable to all of the countries if they always support each other.
Nowadays, for individual counties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, environmental problems are becoming more and more tremendous and to solve them, they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement since it can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, there are a
surprisingly
large number of benefits if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
thrived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enable individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. One of them is making closer ties with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by helping with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environmental issues there may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them. And
as a result
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and individuals who came can become friends by working together. Another useful side is protecting themselves too from environmental impediments.
For example
, there might be a problem with increasing rubbish which can lead to various air pollution or water contamination and that can
also
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
That is
why, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
support undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where these types of drawbacks a lot, it can be beneficial for all of them.

Furthermore
, reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
by giving diverse special modern devices for reducing matter with the environment. Such as electronic cars or robots which can be
really
beneficial in decreasing these problems.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these problems should
be resolved
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. By leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more responsible with claiming do not throw rubbish on the ground or making fines if they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it. Beside they feel that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create more recycling buildings and plant more trees
as well
. In consequence, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to solve these matters, they believe.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
if they always support each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay 54. If you unexpectedly receive a large amount of money, what will you do withit? Would you spend it for practical purposes or simply for fun? State youropinion and explain your reasons. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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