Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

4. If you suddenly got $10 million, what would you spend it on? Use details tosupport your response. v.1

4. If you suddenly got $10 million, what would you spend it on? Use details tosupport your response. v. 1
It is argued that our life was more fulfilling when the technology was less complex. This essay totally disagrees with this statement and believes that the smartphones have speed up the communication and the internet has enhanced the education system. Smartphones have made the transfer of data to the receiver at the lightening speed. That is to say, earlier when these technological advancements were not made it took weeks to send a photo or video to the other location via sending the couriers' containing the physical discs. Hence, the invention of smart phones has made it hassle free and quick to transfer such data. For example, before the smartphones were not present, it was not possible for the parents to see their child who went abroad for the further studies, but these days they can communicate via video call at their fingertips. The Internet has revolutionised the way people learn today. In other words, before the invention of the internet, learners often had to rely on the resources such as books and magazines of their own or that were available in the libraries, therefore the source of knowledge was limited and it required a huge amount of effort to extract the information, but as a result of the internet today, everything is available at the few clicks. For example, when I was a child, I was asked to create a history project on the Civilization of Mohenjodaro, I had to refer my text books and books from the library but now I can make use of the internet. In conclusion, the modern technology of the smartphones and the internet has improved the life by enabling the communication quick and the availability of the information anywhere at anytime.
It
is argued
that our life was more fulfilling when the technology was less complex. This essay
totally
disagrees with this statement and believes that the smartphones have
speed up
the communication and the internet has enhanced the education system.

Smartphones have made the transfer of data to the receiver at the lightening speed.
That is
to say, earlier when these technological advancements were not made it took weeks to
send
a photo or video to the other location via sending the couriers' containing the physical discs.
Hence
, the invention of smart phones has made it hassle free and quick to transfer such data.
For example
,
before
the smartphones were not present, it was not possible for the parents to
see
their child who went abroad for the
further
studies,
but
these days they can communicate via video call at their fingertips.

The Internet has
revolutionised
the way
people
learn
today
.
In other words
,
before
the invention of the internet, learners
often
had to rely on the resources such as books and magazines of their
own
or that were available in the libraries,
therefore
the source of knowledge
was limited
and it required a huge amount of effort to extract the information,
but
as a result
of the internet
today
, everything is available at the few clicks.
For example
, when I was a child, I
was asked
to create a history project on the Civilization of
Mohenjodaro
, I had to refer my text books and books from the library
but
now
I can
make
use
of the internet.

In conclusion
, the modern technology of the smartphones and the internet has
improved
the life by enabling the communication quick and the availability of the information anywhere at anytime.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 4. If you suddenly got $10 million, what would you spend it on? Use details tosupport your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts