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If you won a million dollars, would you save most of it or spend most of it? Use reasons and details to support your response. v.1

If you won a million dollars, would you save most of it or spend most of it? Use reasons and details to support your response. v. 1
It has been argued by many that most of the countries of the world are facing problems of environmental pollution and are working hard to control it, but the situation is getting worse. In my opinion, I think that the main reasons include deforestation and increased combustion of petroleum products. This issue can be solved by increased plantation of trees and shifting to smoke free energy sources. On the one hand, the industrial growth is the key factor responsible for degradation of the environment. Firstly, every industry uses the crude oil and the burning produces toxic gases. Secondly, for the expansion of factories, the humans cut down trees, which not only enhance the polluted air, but also increase the soil erosion. Furthermore, there are more number of cars on the roads due to the economic growth and this also has a negative effect on the surroundings. So, all these disrupt the equilibrium of nature and has a devastating effect on the atmosphere. For instance, according to a recent research, there is an increase of 56% in the amount of smoke in the London city. On the other hand, I think that to solve this issue we have to follow a saying " the greener the place, the healthier the population''. The government should create awareness among the masses to plant more trees and there should be laws to punish those who cut them without permission of the competent authority. Moreover, introduction of the environmental friendly fuels should be encouraged and made easily available as well. All together, it will help the state to fight against the pollutants. For example, the French people have introduced electrically driven vehicles in the city of Paris to counter the hazards of dirty air. To conclude, I believe that it's not merely the responsibility of the rulers to clean the surroundings, rather it's the duty of every citizen to realise this thing and play his role in making the homeland pure and disease free.
It has
been argued
by
many
that most of the countries of the world are facing problems of environmental pollution and are working
hard
to control it,
but
the situation is getting worse. In my opinion, I
think
that the main reasons include deforestation and increased combustion of petroleum products. This issue can
be solved
by increased plantation of trees and shifting to smoke free energy sources.

On the one hand, the industrial growth is the key factor responsible for degradation of the environment.
Firstly
, every industry
uses
the crude oil and the burning produces toxic gases.
Secondly
, for the expansion of factories, the humans
cut
down trees, which not
only
enhance the polluted air,
but
also
increase the soil erosion.
Furthermore
, there are more number of cars on the roads due to the economic growth and this
also
has a
negative
effect on the surroundings.
So
, all these disrupt the equilibrium of nature and has a devastating effect on the atmosphere.
For instance
, according to a recent research, there is an increase of 56% in the amount of smoke in the London city.

On the other hand
, I
think
that to solve this issue we
have to
follow a saying
"
the greener the place, the healthier the population''. The
government
should create awareness among the masses to plant more trees and there should be laws to punish those who
cut
them without permission of the competent authority.
Moreover
, introduction of the environmental friendly fuels should
be encouraged
and made
easily
available
as well
. All together, it will
help
the state to fight against the pollutants.
For example
, the French
people
have introduced
electrically
driven vehicles in the city of Paris to counter the hazards of dirty air.

To conclude
, I believe that it's not
merely
the responsibility of the rulers to clean the surroundings,
rather
it's the duty of every citizen to
realise
this thing and play his role in making the homeland pure and disease free.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay If you won a million dollars, would you save most of it or spend most of it? Use reasons and details to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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