Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more schools allow fast-food restaurants to sell their products to their students. Is it a positive or negative development? v.3

More and more schools allow fast-food restaurants to sell their products to their students. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3
In today’s life, there is a wide range of people under flexible environment, while others are exposed to stressful conditions. It is inadvisable to proceed with any job, If the employer is not taking into account the vital paths required in convincing their employees to continue their jobs properly. In this essay, I am going to address the contributing factors to work satisfaction which is in terms of working hours, salaries and graduates. It has been essential to understand individual commitments to exclude this particular fellow from 9 to 5 working hours. For example, some people cannot be punctual at the office because they have disabled daughter or son, who could not be able to travel to school independently. Therefore, it is important to change the original time schedule to give these people flexibility. So this type help will give them job contentment. The fact that could be denied and encourage the employee remarkably is the reliable salaries in addition to promotions to highly achievable workers. For example, if a worker can fix the broken machines, it is illogical to not to award anything in return to this worker. Therefore, if award this worker, he will be grateful and more confident about his job. Awarding and reasonable salaries are essential elements to job satisfaction. It is essential to accommodate right person at work on the right place according to their degree or certificate. If an individual has graduated as an accountant, It is unrealistic to perform a job as a carpenter. One of the consequences of that is the worker in not going to like his job because there is a connection between his profession and occupation. To conclude, If every worker is able to take part in a job which suits him financially, vocationally and academically, it could contribute to climbing the career ladder successfully.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life, there is a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
under flexible environment, while others
are exposed
to stressful conditions. It is inadvisable to proceed with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, If the employer is not taking into account the vital paths required in convincing their employees to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
properly
. In this essay, I am going to address the contributing factors to work satisfaction which is in terms of working hours, salaries and graduates.

It has been essential to understand individual commitments to exclude this particular fellow from 9 to 5 working hours.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot be punctual at the office
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have disabled daughter or son, who could not be able to travel to school
independently
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the original time schedule to give these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
flexibility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this type
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
will give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
contentment.

The fact that could
be denied
and encourage the employee
remarkably
is the reliable salaries
in addition
to promotions to
highly
achievable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the broken machines, it is illogical
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
award anything in return to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
.
Therefore
, if award this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
, he will be grateful and more confident about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Awarding and reasonable salaries are essential elements to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

It is essential to accommodate right person at work on the right place according to their degree or certificate. If an individual has graduated as an accountant, It is unrealistic to perform a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as a carpenter. One of the consequences of
that is
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
in not going to like his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
his profession and occupation.

To conclude
, If every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which suits him
financially
,
vocationally
and
academically
, it could contribute to climbing the career ladder
successfully
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay More and more schools allow fast-food restaurants to sell their products to their students. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts