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28/10/2017Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion. v.1

28/10/2017Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion. v. 1
There is a debate between parents if they should let their children leave the home and try to live individual, or not, when they turn to 15 to 18 years old. Even though, it is absolutely common to let the child leave alone in advanced countries, it should be acceptable to make them decide for their lifestyle in traditional cultures. So, it is beneficial for the entire community. First, they are experienced earlier, compare with others. Children who are able to leave alone, try to risk more than who are isolated from their parents. So, this gives them an opportunity to differentiate between the factual and fictional life in their early twenties, and try to use them when they become adults. For example, when they live individual in a dormitory, they have been learning to treat others, or other needed etiquettes. Next, sometimes parents push them to be succeed in the way they want, but they turn a blind eye on their potentials. However, when a teenager lives alone, he or she is able to determine the surroundings, and accidentally or deliberately, follow an ambition, which let him or her to be an expert in a specific field. Moreover, living lonely rise their endurance. Based on researches, adults who were alone as they were teenager are stronger when they are facing troubles. In fact, Trials and errors that they struggle in their late twenties, strengthen them. For instance, well-known people always are proud of the way they chose, which is falling, but standing again when they started a business as a young person, and learn to never be exhausted. To conclude, to let a child to separate from the family and having his own methods, particularly when parents consider it is the appropriate time, grows more successful matures, who can be more helpful for a community.
There is a debate between
parents
if they should
let
their children
leave
the home and try to
live
individual, or not, when they turn to 15 to 18 years
old
.
Even though
, it is
absolutely
common to
let
the child
leave
alone
in advanced countries, it should be acceptable to
make
them decide for their lifestyle in traditional cultures.
So
, it is beneficial for the entire community.

First
, they
are experienced
earlier, compare with others. Children
who
are able to
leave
alone
, try to
risk
more than
who
are isolated
from their
parents
.
So
, this gives them an opportunity to differentiate between the factual and fictional life in their early twenties, and try to
use
them when they become adults.
For example
, when they
live
individual in a dormitory, they have been learning to treat others, or other needed
etiquettes
.

Next
,
sometimes
parents
push them to be
succeed
in the way they want,
but
they turn a blind eye on their potentials.
However
, when a
teenager
lives
alone
, he or she is able to determine the surroundings, and
accidentally
or
deliberately
, follow an ambition, which
let
him or her to be an expert in a specific field.

Moreover
, living lonely rise their endurance. Based on researches, adults
who
were
alone
as they were
teenager
are stronger when they are facing troubles. In fact, Trials and errors that they struggle in their late twenties, strengthen them.
For instance
, well-known
people
always are proud of the way they chose, which is falling,
but
standing again when they
started
a business as a young person, and learn to never
be exhausted
.

To conclude
, to
let
a child to separate from the family and having his
own
methods,
particularly
when
parents
consider it is the appropriate time, grows more successful matures,
who
can be more helpful for a community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 28/10/2017Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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