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28/10/2017Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion. v.2

28/10/2017Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion. v. 2
Many aver creating offices and schools with an open space design is a necessity. Below some merits and drawbacks of the trend as well as author’s opinion will be given. On the one hand, using a design without walls has some benefits. Firstly, productivity increases because people are encouraged to cooperate and interact more by the absence of barriers. In fact, some researches demonstrate staff of companies that work in an open space design is on twenty-four percent more successful at doing their assignments than those who are exploited in classic offices. Secondly, the atmosphere of freedom and liberty is often associated with the discussed style. To exemplify, pupils that are taught in classrooms without walls easily tell educators about their problems and issues, and employees that work in spacious premises freely speak up about ways to improve their work to management. So, those are several advantages of the proposal. On the other hand, the blind implementation of the policy has some shortages. Primarily, working in open space premises may be challenging because of noise. To illustrate, often a large number of children are studying at school simultaneously and while a part of pupils is discussing homework or a piece of literature, other kids are having a formal examination and they are being distracted by the voices of their peers working nearby. The same situation may be observed at workplaces as well. Furthermore, not all folks have the same personal characteristics and some people may struggle to interact with co-workers or peers all the time. In fact, about thirty-eight percent of the total population are introverts who prefer to avoid having a deal with other too frequently. Thus, the fulfillment of the idea could have some adverse effects on studying and working processes. In my opinion, spacious offices and classrooms possess many advantages and should be used but making this design ubiquitous appears to be a mistake because of the issues discussed above.
Many
aver creating offices and schools with an open space
design
is a necessity. Below
some
merits and drawbacks of the trend
as well
as author’s opinion will be
given
.

On the one hand, using a
design
without walls has
some
benefits.
Firstly
, productivity increases
because
people
are encouraged
to cooperate and interact more by the absence of barriers. In fact,
some
researches demonstrate staff of
companies
that work in an open space
design
is on twenty-four percent more successful at doing their assignments than those who
are exploited
in classic offices.
Secondly
, the atmosphere of freedom and liberty is
often
associated with the discussed style. To exemplify, pupils that
are taught
in classrooms without walls
easily
tell
educators about their problems and issues, and employees that work in spacious premises
freely
speak up about ways to
improve
their work to management.
So
, those are several advantages of the proposal.

On the other hand
, the blind implementation of the policy has
some
shortages.
Primarily
, working in open space premises may be challenging
because
of noise. To illustrate,
often
a large number of
children are studying at school
simultaneously
and while a part of pupils is discussing homework or a piece of literature, other kids are having a formal
examination and
they are
being distracted
by the voices of their peers working nearby. The same situation may
be observed
at workplaces
as well
.
Furthermore
, not all folks have the same personal characteristics and
some
people
may struggle to interact with co-workers or peers all the time. In fact, about thirty-eight percent of the total population are introverts who prefer to avoid having a deal with other too
frequently
.
Thus
, the fulfillment of the
idea
could have
some
adverse effects on studying and working processes.

In my opinion, spacious offices and classrooms possess
many
advantages and should be
used
but
making this
design
ubiquitous appears to be a mistake
because
of the issues discussed above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay 28/10/2017Some people believe that modern designs for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such spaces? Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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