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04. 10. 2017work with mistakes. Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another v.1

04. 10. 2017work with mistakes. Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another v. 1
There is no doubt that museums are always a great place to learn history irrespective of the age groups. But charging for entrance to museums is always a debatable topic. This essay will discuss why these have more benefits than drawbacks. The first drawback for free entry is that people will not take care of such places. Thus, result in spoiling of the places and also all the ancient items present there. Secondly, if these places are privately owned, then the owners would not have enough wealth to maintain it properly. For example, a survey was conducted by The Times magazine, that almost eighty percent of the free museums were closed due to high maintenance costs. On the contrary, the first advantage of ticketing these places is that only interested persons will visit such places. This is because people will think twice before spending on tickets, which will result in only genuine people to see these places. Furthermore, these places can be easily maintained and even the government and private owners will spend some amount on marketing. Thus, result in more interested people to come to visit. Lastly, by this collected money, the owners would be able to upgrade their system. In an instance, in 2018, almost five museums out of seven have upgraded their system from the collected money and now they are providing pre-recorded headphones to all its visitors so that they do not miss any minute details of it. In conclusion, the advantages of charging money are always one step ahead of all its disadvantages. This will help our world to maintain its history so that our present and next generation would understand by practically visiting such places.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are always a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to learn history irrespective of the age groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
charging for entrance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
is always a debatable topic. This essay will discuss why these have more benefits than drawbacks.

The
first
drawback for free entry is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not take care of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Thus
, result in spoiling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
also
all the ancient items present there.
Secondly
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
, then the owners would not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
wealth to maintain it
properly
.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
by The Times magazine, that almost eighty percent of the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
were closed
due to high maintenance costs.

On the contrary
, the
first
advantage of ticketing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
interested persons will visit such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
spending on tickets, which will result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can be
easily
maintained and even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private owners will spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount on marketing.
Thus
, result in more interested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit.
Lastly
, by this collected money, the owners would be able to upgrade their system. In an instance, in 2018, almost five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
out of seven have upgraded their system from the collected money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are providing pre-recorded headphones to all its visitors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not miss any minute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of it.

In conclusion
, the advantages of charging money are always one step ahead of all its disadvantages. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our world to maintain its history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our present and
next
generation would understand by
practically
visiting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 04. 10. 2017work with mistakes. Your colleague from a different town is coming next month and you are moving out of your current accommodation. Write a letter to the colleague to recommend they move into your house and say– Why are you moving to another v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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