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28/10/2017Animals are used by humans for profit in many ways. However, some people don’t agree with this use of animals. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.1

28/10/2017Animals are used by humans for profit in many ways. However, some people don’t agree with this use of animals. v. 1
In recent years, there have been a number of everyday problems that people in big cities have to cope with. This essay will discuss two major problems, corruption and knowledge overload, which I believe should lead governments to encourage people to move to regional areas. These days, increased levels of pollution have been a great cause for concern among residents of big cities. Due to high volumes of traffic, large quantities of pollutants are being released into the atmosphere, causing the degradation of air quality, which is said to be a significant contributor to various types of respiratory disease, such as lung cancer. Additionally, people in big cities are being bombarded with too much intelligence from the media, including TV, social media, and advertising, with a large proportion of this information being fake or exaggerated. This can lead to confusion or, in some cases, social anarchy. In my opinion, governments should do what they can to encourage city residents to move to regional areas. Firstly, it will reduce the number of vehicles in cities, which will definitely reduce the levels of air pollution, which is hazardous to the health of citizens. Furthermore, fewer people living in big cities will relieve the pressure on the housing supply, where many people are forced to live in small, uncomfortable spaces. Studies have shown that people’s living spaces have a direct impact on their mental health and how they perform at work. In conclusion, severe air pollution and a bombardment of information are among the most serious problems facing city residents nowadays, and personally, I feel that authorities should encourage people to relocate to other areas to live.
In recent years, there have been a number of everyday problems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with. This essay will discuss two major problems, corruption and knowledge overload, which I believe should lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional areas.

These days, increased levels of pollution have been a great cause for concern among residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Due to high volumes of traffic, large quantities of pollutants are
being released
into the atmosphere, causing the degradation of air quality, which
is said
to be a significant contributor to various types of respiratory disease, such as lung cancer.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
being bombarded
with too much intelligence from the media, including TV, social media, and advertising, with a large proportion of this information being fake or exaggerated. This can lead to confusion or, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, social anarchy.

In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should do what they can to encourage city residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to regional areas.
Firstly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of vehicles in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the levels of air pollution, which is hazardous to the health of citizens.
Furthermore
, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will relieve the pressure on the housing supply, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, uncomfortable spaces. Studies have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
living spaces have a direct impact on their mental health and how they perform at work.

In conclusion
, severe air pollution and a bombardment of information are among the most serious problems facing city residents nowadays, and
personally
, I feel that authorities should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relocate to other areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 28/10/2017Animals are used by humans for profit in many ways. However, some people don’t agree with this use of animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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