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23092017 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

23092017 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 2
Many claim that technological progress of a state leads to extinction of local customs and traditional lifestyle, and attempting to preserve those traditions and ways of life is meaningless. I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance is based will be discussed in details. On the one hand, there is a correlation between the advancement of technology and dying out local crafts and mores. For instance, the invention and mass production of the automobile forced people to give up exploiting horses and asses as means of transportation, consequently, traditions and crafts that are associated with those animals disappeared as well. Another instance is the advent of the Internet that reshaped traditions and cultures in many countries. In fact, the net has dramatically impacted the way humans work, communicate, relax and study. For instance, a tradition of writing letters on paper has almost become obsolete in Russia because e-mails replaced them. Thus, substitution of old customs by new ones is indeed caused by progress. On the other hand, it is plausible and useful to keep ancestors’ ways and skills alive. In fact, cultural heritage has crucial importance for keeping a connection between generations in order to maintain a healthy and prosperous society that has a national identity. For instance, Japan has a nationwide social program that cultivates public’s interest in their roots and customs. The fulfillment of the program has allowed Japanese to maintain their national identity in a quickly globalizing world and to have people who are willing to work for the good of the country. Furthermore, maintaining local customs may serve as a big attraction for tourists and their money. For instance, folk of Hawaii managed to use their unusual traditions and forefathers’ way of life to make their country recognizable among others and to promote their island as a tropic heaven that is ideal for recreational activities. Commuters who visit the coastal state joyfully observe and participate in local rituals and ceremonies. Consequently, those are two ways in which preserving traditional skills and mores may be useful. In my opinion, although technological advancement has a converse impact on spreading ancestors’ crafts, arts, and customs, they should and could be preserved for future generations.
Many
claim that technological progress of a state leads to extinction of
local
customs and traditional lifestyle, and attempting to preserve those
traditions
and
ways
of life is meaningless. I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance
is based
will
be discussed
in
details
.

On the one hand, there is a correlation between the advancement of technology and dying out
local
crafts and mores. For
instance
, the invention and mass production of the automobile forced
people
to give up exploiting horses and asses as means of transportation,
consequently
,
traditions
and crafts that
are associated
with those animals disappeared
as well
. Another
instance
is the advent of the Internet that reshaped
traditions
and cultures in
many
countries. In fact, the net has
dramatically
impacted the
way
humans work, communicate, relax and study. For
instance
, a
tradition
of writing letters on paper has almost become obsolete in Russia
because
e-mails replaced them.
Thus
, substitution of
old
customs by new ones is
indeed
caused by progress.

On the other hand
, it is plausible and useful to
keep
ancestors’
ways
and
skills
alive. In fact, cultural heritage has crucial importance for keeping a
connection between
generations in order to maintain a healthy and prosperous society that has a national identity. For
instance
, Japan has a nationwide social program that cultivates public’s interest in their roots and customs. The fulfillment of the program has
allowed
Japanese to maintain their national identity in a
quickly
globalizing world and to have
people
who are willing to work for the
good
of the country.
Furthermore
, maintaining
local
customs may serve as a
big
attraction for tourists and their money. For
instance
, folk of Hawaii managed to
use
their unusual
traditions
and forefathers’
way
of life to
make
their country recognizable among others and to promote their island as a tropic heaven
that is
ideal for recreational activities. Commuters who visit the coastal state
joyfully
observe and participate in
local
rituals and ceremonies.
Consequently
, those are two
ways
in which preserving traditional
skills
and mores may be useful.

In my opinion, although technological advancement has a converse impact on spreading ancestors’ crafts, arts, and customs, they should and could
be preserved
for future generations.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay 23092017 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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