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21. 09. 2017 In some countries the average weight and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v.2

21. 09. 2017 In some countries the average weight and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 2
A number of those who have issues with excessive weight and overall fitness keep growing steadily in many states. Below some reasons of the trend as well as possible solutions will be discussed in details. On the one hand, the problems mentioned above are apparently caused by several reasons. Firstly, adhering to unhealthy food habits is one of them. For instance, regular consuming of fast and convenience food, eating in the late evening or in the middle of the night are examples of a conduct that causes excessive weight and leads to poor state of health. Furthermore, insufficient or even absenting exercise stress is another troublemaker. In many countries, in particular in those with high GDP per capita, citizens avoid walking and instead prefer using private vehicles. Those are two major factors that contribute greatly to the development of the trend in discussion. On the other hand, some actions may be taken to fight the tendency back. Primarily, editing prohibitory laws may help enormously. For instance, a possibility exists to pass novel laws that will force fast food chains to serve only healthy, organic food. Furthermore, usage of automobiles in megalopolises and urban areas could be restricted as well. For instance, closing parking lots in the downtown, near malls and prohibition of driving in some parts of cities and towns would coerce folk to walk more. Additionally, rising public’s awareness about the causes of the problems as well as promotion of ways to overcome them could have an advantageous influence on the individuals’ habitual behavior. To exemplify, explaining how walking short distances regularly may improve overall health condition could encourage drivers to give up their cars, moreover, showing parents how greasy food undermines well-being of their offspring could motivate mothers and fathers pay more attention to a healthy diet of their progeny. Those are some measures that may help to combat the harmful trend. To sum up, unfitness and overweight of many in some countries has become a real problem that is caused by unhealthy habits that may be remodeled through system of prohibitions and encouragements.
A number of those who have issues with excessive weight and
overall
fitness
keep
growing
steadily
in
many
states. Below
some
reasons of the trend
as well
as possible solutions will
be discussed
in
details
.

On the one hand, the problems mentioned above are
apparently
caused by several reasons.
Firstly
, adhering to unhealthy
food
habits is one of them.
For instance
, regular consuming of
fast
and convenience
food
, eating in the late evening or in the middle of the night are examples of a conduct that causes excessive weight and leads to poor state of health.
Furthermore
, insufficient or even absenting exercise
stress
is another troublemaker. In
many
countries,
in particular
in those with high GDP per capita, citizens avoid walking and
instead
prefer using private vehicles. Those are two major factors that contribute
greatly
to the development of the trend in discussion.

On the other hand
,
some
actions may
be taken
to fight the tendency back.
Primarily
, editing prohibitory laws may
help
enormously
.
For instance
, a possibility exists to pass novel laws that will force
fast
food
chains to serve
only
healthy, organic
food
.
Furthermore
, usage of automobiles in megalopolises and urban areas could
be restricted
as well
.
For instance
, closing parking lots in the downtown, near malls and prohibition of driving in
some
parts of cities and towns would coerce folk to walk more.
Additionally
, rising public’s awareness about the causes of the problems
as well
as promotion of ways to overcome them could have an advantageous influence on the individuals’ habitual behavior. To exemplify, explaining how walking short distances
regularly
may
improve
overall
health condition could encourage drivers to give up their cars,
moreover
, showing parents how greasy
food
undermines well-being of their offspring could motivate mothers and fathers pay more attention to a healthy diet of their progeny. Those are
some
measures that may
help
to combat the harmful trend.

To sum up, unfitness and overweight of
many
in
some
countries has become a real problem that
is caused
by unhealthy habits that may
be remodeled
through system of prohibitions and encouragements.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay 21. 09. 2017 In some countries the average weight and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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