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23092017 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

23092017 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 1
Methods to address traffic jams is a contentious topic for many people. While some people think that government funds should be poured in constructing more railways and subway lines, I believe that widening streets would reduce the vehicle density. The debate over this topic seems to consist of two irreconcilable poles. My essay will discuss these opposite camps before my opinion is given. It is true that government should invest money in a road extension in order to alleviate the volume of traffic. The reason here is that citizens would have more spacious roads to commute every day between workplace and home with the absence of congested lanes. Therefore, the prospect of bumper-to-bumper traffic may be immediately tackled thanks to this investment. However, I believe that the extension and construction of roads would bring about certain problems. Widening the streets would directly lead to the deficit of the national budget, not only for infrastructure construction, but also for the charge of household migration to other areas. This even evokes people to use private transport which is the culprit of clogged traffic flows. It is within the realm of possibility that building trains and subway lines may accelerate more people to commute by public vehicles. By this way, the number of private vehicles is likely to be reduced and traffic would flow smoothly. For example, Japan saw a significant decrease in the density of vehicles after building underground tunnels and it has happened for years. Therefore, this essay believes that constructing more railways and subway lines are more beneficial for the national budget. In conclusion, people have different views about avoiding severe traffic congestion problems. Although some people think that road extensions is a good solution, I believe that building train and subway lines are more feasible because this measure would minimize the number of people commuting by their own vehicles.
Methods to address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams is a contentious topic for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds should
be poured
in constructing more railways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that widening streets would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
density. The debate over this topic seems to consist of two irreconcilable poles. My essay will discuss these opposite camps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my opinion is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

It is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest money in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
extension in order to alleviate the volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. The reason
Did you mean "here are that citizens"?
here is that citizens
would have more spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to commute every day between workplace and home with the absence of congested lanes.
Therefore
, the prospect of bumper-to-bumper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
may be immediately tackled thanks to this investment.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the extension and construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
would bring about certain problems. Widening the streets would
directly
lead to the deficit of the national budget, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for infrastructure construction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the charge of household migration to other areas. This even evokes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private transport which is the culprit of clogged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
flows.

It is within the realm of possibility that building trains and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
may accelerate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commute by public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. By this way, the number of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
is likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
would flow
smoothly
.
For example
, Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant decrease in the density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
after building underground tunnels and it has happened for years.
Therefore
, this essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that constructing more railways and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
are more beneficial for the national budget.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about avoiding severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion problems. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
extensions is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that building train and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lines
are more feasible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this measure would minimize the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commuting by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 23092017 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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