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19. 09. 2017Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

19. 09. 2017Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 2
Some aver that universities ought to accept as many men as women in every subject. Although, this proposal seems to be appealing at the first glance, I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance based will be discussed in details. On the one hand, implementation of the policy seems to have many advantages. Firstly, it is aimed to fight inequality between genders. In fact, statistically some subjects are more preferred by males than females and many assume that it is the result of biased attitude of university administration toward students. If the proposal is fulfilled, personal preferences and prejudices of educators will not impact the decision about accepting or dismissing a future student. Secondly, if the proposal is passed, this fact will undoubtedly encourage, for instance, young women to try to enroll in subjects and courses that are traditionally deemed as men’s ones. In other words, at least theoretically, the discussed act could positively affect situation with inequality in tertiary institutions. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages as well. Primarily, this idea could be perceived as unfair by some individuals because academic performance of enrolling students is partly neglected. Likelihood exists that, for instance, instead of a man who has an average 3. 9 a young woman with average 3. 3 may be accepted in a course because all seats devoted to males have been already taken. Furthermore, this situation would likely lead to difficulties in education process due to listeners who were chosen with respect to their gender would probably have a different level of preparation and background knowledge. Thus, mechanical imposing of quotes could undermine public belief in fairness of the policy and even have a converse influence on listeners’ studying. To sum up, the idea of imposing quotes promises to bring desirable alterations but its fulfillment in its current reading will cause increasing discontent among students as well as other drawbacks. Thus, it is safe to claim that shortages outweigh plausible benefits.
Some
aver that universities ought to accept as
many
men
as women in every subject. Although, this proposal seems to be appealing at the
first
glance, I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance based will
be discussed
in
details
.

On the one hand, implementation of the policy seems to have
many
advantages.
Firstly
, it
is aimed
to fight inequality between genders. In fact,
statistically
some
subjects are more preferred by males than females and
many
assume that it is the result of biased attitude of university administration toward
students
. If the proposal
is fulfilled
, personal preferences and prejudices of educators will not impact the decision about accepting or dismissing a future
student
.
Secondly
, if the proposal
is passed
, this fact will
undoubtedly
encourage,
for instance
, young women to try to enroll in subjects and courses that are
traditionally
deemed as
men
’s ones.
In other words
, at least
theoretically
, the discussed act could
positively
affect situation with inequality in tertiary institutions.

On the other hand
, there are
some
disadvantages
as well
.
Primarily
, this
idea
could
be perceived
as unfair by
some
individuals
because
academic performance of enrolling
students
is partly neglected. Likelihood exists that,
for instance
,
instead
of a
man
who has an average 3. 9 a young woman with average 3. 3 may be
accepted
in a course
because
all seats devoted to males have been already taken.
Furthermore
, this situation would likely lead to difficulties in education process due to listeners who
were chosen
with respect to their gender would
probably
have a
different
level of preparation and background knowledge.
Thus
, mechanical imposing of quotes could undermine public belief in fairness of the policy and even have a converse influence on listeners’ studying.

To sum up, the
idea
of imposing quotes promises to bring desirable alterations
but
its fulfillment in its
current
reading will cause increasing discontent among
students
as well
as other drawbacks.
Thus
, it is safe to claim that shortages outweigh plausible benefits.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay 19. 09. 2017Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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