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23. Some people believe that higher education is for all students. Other peoplebelieve that higher education is only suitable for certain students. Whichopinion do you think is better and why? v.1

23. Some people believe that higher education is for all students. Other peoplebelieve that higher education is only suitable for certain students. Whichopinion do you think is better and why? v. 1
Some individuals believe the levels of noise being created should be strictly controlled, while others think people should have the right to produce noise if they want to. Both these views will be thoroughly discussed in this essay. To begin with, there are several reasons why the government should control the amount of noise produced. The first reason is that too much noise can significantly affect people’s health. Living in a place that is too noisy can cause problems such as headaches, which can decrease the health levels of people, especially old ones. Additionally, noise can disturb people’s work or study. For example, a university student will not be able to concentrate on his preparation for exams if his neighbours keep singing too loud. However, some people believe they can make as much noise as they want because of some reasons. Firstly, producing noise is sometimes considered a type of recreational activities. For instance, singing or cheering for a football club can be relaxing, and everyone has the right to do those things. Secondly, as the world is becoming more modern, people have found ways to deal with the problem of noise. Scientists have invented walls and windows that can block out the noise, which allows individuals to focus on their work without being disturbed. Therefore, the problem of noise can be reduced and there is no need for people to keep quiet. In conclusion, there are some reasons why people should have the right to make noise. Nevertheless, I think the levels of noise should be limited so that it will not affect other individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
being created
should be
strictly
controlled, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the right to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
if they want to. Both these views will be
thoroughly
discussed in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
produced. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can
significantly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. Living in a place
that is
too noisy can cause problems such as headaches, which can decrease the health levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can disturb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
work or study.
For example
, a university student will not be able to concentrate on his preparation for exams if his
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
singing too loud.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
as they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
considered a type of recreational activities.
For instance
, singing or cheering for a football club can be relaxing, and everyone has the right to do those things.
Secondly
, as the world is becoming more modern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have found ways to deal with the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. Scientists have invented walls and windows that can block out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individuals to focus on their work without
being disturbed
.
Therefore
, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and there is no need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
quiet.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be limited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will not affect other individuals.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay 23. Some people believe that higher education is for all students. Other peoplebelieve that higher education is only suitable for certain students. Whichopinion do you think is better and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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