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tpo 45 Using the professor's example, explain how the method of loci is used to recall information in sequence. v.1

tpo 45 Using the professor's example, explain how the method of loci is used to recall information in sequence. v. 1
There has been some discussion about the existence and need of parks and squares in towns and cities. While some people believe that these open premises are essential, others insist that these places make the land useless and hence they must be converted to practical purposes. In my opinion, despite the voices against the larger public places, parks and squares provide great value to both the towns and its civilians. First of all, the open areas have always been considered as the heart of cities, where people get together for meetings and leisure activities. Besides that children and their parents spend quality time at these places after their hectic daily schedules. The increasing pollution in cities is a cause of great concern for the government and the citizens and places like parks and squares often provide relaxation to the old people. Moreover, such places attract tourists as they usually have a history behind their creation. For instance, all European towns are famous for their beautiful gardens and city center squares. Thus, it’s absolutely imperative to conserve them for the future generations. On the other hand, one can’t deny the fact that cities are getting crowded each day and lacking places to build public and commercial centers. New transportation systems are coming to the cities and they need a large space to build stations and wider lanes. For example, New York was planned nearly two hundred years ago and the roads in the city were small and narrow which were built for carts not for cars and buses. Later, New York city authority converted many historical parks and gardens into parking stations and highways. This transformation was publicly criticized by civilians and other town planners. Therefore, destroying parks and other public places for current benefits is not the solution for space constraints in cities. In conclusion, big public grounds are the need of our future generations. Cities are facing a lot of pressure to develop a substantial infrastructure for the growing population, but this cannot be allowed at the cost of parks and squares. Therefore, it’s completely indispensable to have huge social places in the cities and towns.
There has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discussion about the existence and need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that these open premises are essential, others insist that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the land useless and
hence
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be converted
to practical purposes. In my opinion, despite the voices against the larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares provide great value to both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
and its civilians.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the open areas have always
been considered
as the heart of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together for meetings and leisure activities.
Besides
that children and their parents spend quality time at these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
after their hectic daily schedules. The increasing pollution in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is a cause of great concern for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the citizens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide relaxation to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
attract tourists as they
usually
have a history behind their creation.
For instance
, all European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
gardens and city center squares.
Thus
, it’s
absolutely
imperative to conserve them for the future generations.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, one can’t deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are getting crowded each day and lacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and commercial centers. New transportation systems are coming to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cities and
they need a large space to build stations and wider lanes.
For example
, New York
was planned
nearly
two hundred years ago and the roads in the city were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
and narrow which
were built
for carts not for cars and buses. Later,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
authority converted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens into parking stations and highways. This transformation was
publicly
criticized by civilians and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
planners.
Therefore
, destroying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
benefits is not the solution for space constraints in cities.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
grounds are the need of our future generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure to develop a substantial infrastructure for the growing population,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this cannot be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
at the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and squares.
Therefore
, it’s completely indispensable to have huge social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay tpo 45 Using the professor's example, explain how the method of loci is used to recall information in sequence. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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