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Describe someone in your family who you like. You should say: How this person is related to you. What this person looks like. What kind of person he/she is and explain why you like this person v.2

Describe someone in your family who you like. You should say: How this person is related to you. What this person looks like. What kind of person he/she is and explain why you like this person v. 2
Learning different kinds of subjects in university help students to enhance their versatility. A part of the community believes only a handful of the subjects be taught to students that would bring practicality in the future. On the other hand, some believe that the scholar be allowed to elect the subjects according to personal preferences. This essay will discuss why learning core subjects related to science and technology are good, but why the selection of subjects according to one’s liking is comparatively superior. Practical subjects like science are the core learnings offered by universities as preferred by the public to prepare its pupil for the future. By teaching science and technology focused syllabus in schools, the academia enables its pupil to meet the learnings as required by many organizations. For instance, the construction companies require engineers to have a pre-requisite knowledge of geometry and algebra, in order to understand the complexities involved in designing a building. Thus, by teaching complex subjects the students are tailored to cope with their future endeavours. A fraction of community is in the favour of the university granting students to pursue the syllabus that inspires them. When a scholar pursues a research that passionate them, they no longer take the study as a burden and flourish in their field. As an example, according to the research conducted by Harvard University in 2008, students who studied their favourite subjects, scored significantly higher than those who were not passionate about it. Overall, the subjects should be dependent on a student’s personal liking, and not just to please the norms of the society. Some individuals believe, the university should offer freedom in the selection of the choice of their study to students. While others, think the opposite of it. This essay discussed various aspects of why core and elective subjects be offered to students. In my opinion, a student should be allowed to choose the field of study that inspires them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to enhance their versatility. A part of the community believes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a handful of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that would bring practicality in the future.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the scholar be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to elect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
according to personal preferences. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to science and technology are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why the selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
according to one’
The verb 'liking' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
s liking
is
comparatively
superior.

Practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like science are the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as preferred by the public to prepare its pupil for the future. By teaching science and technology focused syllabus in schools, the academia enables its pupil to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
as required by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations.
For instance
, the construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
require engineers to have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-requisite
knowledge of geometry and algebra, in order to understand the complexities involved in designing a building.
Thus
, by teaching complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are tailored
to cope with their future
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
.

A fraction of community is in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
granting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue the syllabus that inspires them. When a scholar pursues
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
that passionate them, they no longer take the study as a burden and flourish in their field. As an example, according to the research conducted by Harvard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
in 2008,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who studied their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, scored
significantly
higher than those who were not passionate about it.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be dependent on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
personal liking, and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
the norms of the society.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should offer freedom in the selection of the choice of their study to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. While others,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite of it. This essay discussed various aspects of why core and elective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
be offered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to choose the field of study that inspires them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe someone in your family who you like. You should say: How this person is related to you. What this person looks like. What kind of person he/she is and explain why you like this person v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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