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300 (the second at) describe a competition that you took part in. you should saywhat kind of competition it was andhow you found out about itwhat the prizes wereand explain why you chose to take part in this competition. v.1

300 (the second at) describe a competition that you took part in. you should saywhat kind of competition it was andhow you found out about itwhat the prizes wereand explain why you chose to take part in this competition. v. 1
Most of the cities in the world are now equipped with digital cameras to mitigate crime. However, a few people perceive that the implemented precautionary measures limits their personal liberty. In my opinion, i don't agree with this notion and we will discuss the relevant reasons for this situation in the essay. Firstly, all the activities are now apparent to the security services. In addition to that, the police can monitor every corner of the city during any time of the day. For instance, when there is a large public gathering for the festivals, there will be enormous crowd. During that time, with the help of cameras the police can note all kinds of activities going on. Hence, all the things that are being done in public has become transparent. Secondly, it became a threat to the robbers and burglars. Moreover, the offenders are highly vulnerable, because of the improved security systems. For example, if a thief tries to snatch a chain in public, he is more likely to get caught because of the improved defence systems. Therefore, it frightens the offenders and also it can be turned into an evidence during the investigation process. In conclusion, all the actions performed in public are now under surveillance, this greatly mitigates the crime rates and also aids us to live a peaceful life. Though, there are some disadvantages like the privacy of individuals being affected and certain activities is being forbidden. Furthermore, the ultimate motive of this action outweighs all the drawbacks and turns this into a successful implementation.
Most of the cities in the world are
now
equipped with digital cameras to mitigate crime.
However
, a few
people
perceive that the implemented precautionary measures limits their personal liberty. In my opinion,
i
don't
agree
with this
notion and
we will discuss the relevant reasons for this situation in the essay.

Firstly
, all the activities are
now
apparent to the security services.
In addition
to that, the police can monitor every corner of the city during any time of the day.
For instance
, when there is a large
public
gathering for the festivals, there will be enormous crowd. During that time, with the
help
of cameras the police can note all kinds of activities going on.
Hence
, all the things that are
being done
in
public
has become transparent.

Secondly
, it became a threat to the robbers and burglars.
Moreover
, the offenders are
highly
vulnerable,
because
of the
improved
security systems.
For example
, if a thief tries to snatch a chain in
public
, he is more likely to
get
caught
because
of the
improved
defence
systems.
Therefore
, it frightens the offenders and
also
it can
be turned
into an evidence during the investigation process.

In conclusion
, all the actions performed in
public
are
now
under surveillance, this
greatly
mitigates the crime rates and
also
aids us to
live
a peaceful life. Though, there are
some
disadvantages like the privacy of individuals being
affected
and certain activities is
being forbidden
.
Furthermore
, the ultimate motive of this action outweighs all the drawbacks and turns this into a successful implementation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 300 (the second at) describe a competition that you took part in. you should saywhat kind of competition it was andhow you found out about itwhat the prizes wereand explain why you chose to take part in this competition. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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