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22 Some people give money as gifts to friends Others try to give a specific kind of present Which kind of gift do you prefer giving to a friend v.1

22 Some people give money as gifts to friends Others try to give a specific kind of present Which kind of gift do you prefer giving to a friend v. 1
Even adults have problems talking comfortably in front of others. They feel stressed when they are expected to make a presentation. Some people argue that this skill should be part of the school curriculum. In my opinion, we cannot obtain a decent career without good presentation skills, so we should have presentation lessons as early as possible. I believe that speaking in front of others in a confident way is crucial to success. If we cannot express our ideas and thoughts clearly, we will not be able to achieve much. Whether you want a good score for your school project or you want to convince your customers, you should address them in an effective way. If you hesitate or look stressed, failure will be inevitable. No one would like to do business with incompetent people. Thus, I have the belief that presentation skills should be taught in schools. The earlier it begins, the better it will be. If we begin to practise these at early ages, we will have more time to master them. We do not necessarily have to wait till our internship to start talking in front of an audience. It may be initially hard, but with enough practice, we can all improve to a large extent. In addition, we can all learn to talk comfortably in front of others, but this will take much time. It will be based on trial and error. But, if teachers are involved in this process, they can spot our mistakes and give constructive feedback. In the long run, this will save us a lot of time. In fact, we will spare significantly less time to become proficient speakers. In conclusion, I believe that speaking in front others with confidence is important for our future. I also think that if this skill is taught at schools, we will become better at it because we will start practising it much earlier than usual and teachers' feedback will correct our mistakes.
Even adults have problems talking
comfortably
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of others. They feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
should be part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. In my opinion, we cannot obtain a decent career without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
lessons as early as possible.

I believe that speaking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of others
Consider replacing "in a confident way" with the adverb for "confident"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a confident way
is crucial to success. If we cannot express our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and thoughts
clearly
, we will not be able to achieve much. Whether you want a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
project or you want to convince your customers, you should address them
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
. If you hesitate or look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, failure will be inevitable. No one would like to do business with incompetent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thus
, I have the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. The earlier it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
, the better it will be. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
these at early ages, we will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to master them. We do not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait till our internship to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
talking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of an audience. It may be
initially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
practice, we can all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
to a large extent.

In addition
, we can all learn to talk
comfortably
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will take much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It will
be based
on trial and error.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if teachers
are involved
in this process, they can spot our mistakes and give constructive feedback. In the long run, this will save us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In fact, we will spare
significantly
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to become proficient speakers.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, I believe that speaking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
others with confidence is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our future. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, we will become better at it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
it much earlier than usual and teachers' feedback will correct our mistakes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 22 Some people give money as gifts to friends Others try to give a specific kind of present Which kind of gift do you prefer giving to a friend v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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