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Material success and fame are often attributed to some talent Do you think it is possible to get name fame and money even if there is no talent v.1

Material success and fame are often attributed to some talent Do you think it is possible to get name fame and money even if there is no talent v. 1
It is debatable that better style of upbringing of kids is in urban areas or in rural areas. In this essay I will delve of benefits and drawbacks in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the main advantage of the look after of children in town is that they can take admission in well reputed schools, which will help them enhance their knowledge as well as help to create their creativity. In private schools, teacher uses different methods to improve their basic level. Therefore, in initial schooling kids learn various things that they cannot learn in rural area's government school. However, the main disadvantage of urban upbringing is that both parents go to their work. Children live alone at home. They are unaware how to use their leisure time in a productive way and accompanied by bad company of peers. In addition, the most of people live in nuclear families than extended clans. Therefore, due to the hectic schedule of parents, children feels isolated and start to do the bad kind of activities, because they are not aware about right or wrong. For example, in the Chandigarh city, both parents go to work, and children live alone at home, and when they free they go to rose park or on the Sukhna lake where different psychological level of people come and kids attract when they see their activities. On the other hand, the chief benefit of rural nurturing of children is that they live in a joint family, even if parents are busy. Then care of them can be taken by grandparents. Also, grandparents teach to their grand kids many good things. Take for Instance, Infants can learn about traditional culture, language and history. Nevertheless, It certainly has some drawbacks. Firstly, some rural people do not earn enough money because of unemployment and they cannot send their kids in reputed academic institutions. Where they can learn a plethora of knowledge. As well as, due to the less literate level, in future, when kids grown they face unemployment problems. In conclusion, Although there are some problems in rural areas, yet I think kids can get better upbringing in cities than villages, because in towns they meet with different kind of people and improve their knowledge also, boost their confidence and communication skills. Which are necessary in competitive era.
It is debatable that better style of upbringing of
kids
is in urban areas or in
rural
areas. In this essay I will delve of benefits and drawbacks in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with, the main advantage of the look after of
children
in town is that they can take admission in well reputed schools, which will
help
them enhance their knowledge
as well
as
help
to create their creativity. In private schools, teacher
uses
different
methods to
improve
their basic level.
Therefore
, in initial schooling
kids
learn
various things that they cannot
learn
in
rural
area's
government
school.

However
, the main disadvantage of urban upbringing is that both
parents
go to their work.
Children
live
alone at home. They are unaware how to
use
their leisure time
in a productive way
and accompanied by
bad
company
of peers.
In addition
, the most of
people
live
in nuclear families than extended clans.
Therefore
, due to the hectic schedule of
parents
,
children
feels isolated and
start
to do the
bad
kind of activities,
because
they are not aware about right or
wrong
.
For example
, in the Chandigarh city, both
parents
go to work, and
children
live
alone at home, and when they free they go to rose park or on the
Sukhna
lake where
different
psychological level of
people
come
and
kids
attract when they
see
their activities.

On the other hand
, the chief benefit of
rural
nurturing of
children
is that they
live
in a joint family, even if
parents
are busy. Then care of them can
be taken
by grandparents.
Also
, grandparents teach to their grand
kids
many
good
things. Take
for Instance
, Infants can
learn
about traditional culture, language and history.

Nevertheless
, It
certainly
has
some
drawbacks.
Firstly
,
some
rural
people
do not earn
enough
money
because
of
unemployment and
they cannot
send
their
kids
in reputed academic institutions.
Where
they can
learn
a plethora of knowledge.
As well
as, due to the less literate level,
in future
, when
kids
grown they face unemployment problems.

In conclusion
, Although there are
some
problems in
rural
areas,
yet
I
think
kids
can
get
better upbringing in cities than villages,
because
in towns they
meet
with
different
kind of
people
and
improve
their knowledge
also
, boost their confidence and communication
skills
.
Which
are necessary in competitive era.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Material success and fame are often attributed to some talent Do you think it is possible to get name fame and money even if there is no talent v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
387 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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