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Part 1When do people give gifts or presents in your country? - Do you ever take a gift when you visit someone in their home? [Why? / Why not? ] - When did you last receive a gift? [What was it? ] - Do you enjoy looking for gifts for people? [Why? / Why not? v.1

Part 1When do people give gifts or presents in your country? - Do you ever take a gift when you visit someone in their home? [Why? / Why not? ] - When did you last receive a gift? [What was it? ] - Do you enjoy looking for gifts for people? [Why? / Why not? v. 1
Nowadays, there are a lot of students who work while studying. Although this tendency may lead to negative results, the number of young people who sacrifice education for work is growing. I believe that this problem has certain causes and can be solved by taking special measures. It is apparent that most of the students who work have many financial expenses to meet. On common cause is the high cost of education. As many colleges and universities set high tuition fees, some families cannot fully afford the higher education for their children. Consequently, these students have to work to pay university and college fees. The other cause is living expenses. Many students study away from hometown, and have to pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc. As it is often hard to cover these expenses, students are forced to earn money to afford their living. I think that the problem of students working during their study results in lower quality of education and has no benefits at all. Thus, it should be solved on the governmental level. I can suggest two possible solutions to this problem. Firstly, the government could make higher education free. For instance, this result can be achieved by financing educational establishments from the country’s budget. Not only will it make universities and colleges accessible for everyone, but it will also reduce the number of working students. The second solution is promoting unpaid e-learning. Such form of distance education doesn’t require a lot of resources to be maintained. What’s more, students don’t have to leave their homes and can plan their schedules the way they prefer. In conclusion, I believe that mainly lack of financial resources causes students to work, but this problem can be solved by lowering the amount of financial expenses students have to meet.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while studying. Although this tendency may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results, the number of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who sacrifice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is growing. I believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
and can
be solved
by taking special measures.

It is apparent that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
financial expenses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. On common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
is the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges and universities set high tuition fees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families cannot
fully
afford the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for their children.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to pay university and college fees. The other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
is living expenses.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study away from hometown, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for accommodation, food, entertainment etc. As it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to cover these expenses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are forced
to earn money to afford their living. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
working during their study results in lower quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and has no benefits at all.
Thus
, it should
be solved
on the governmental level.

I can suggest two possible solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
free.
For instance
, this result can
be achieved
by financing educational establishments from the country’s budget. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
universities and colleges accessible for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The second solution is promoting unpaid e-learning. Such form of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
doesn’t require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
resources to
be maintained
. What’s more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their homes and can plan their schedules the way they prefer.

In conclusion
, I believe that
mainly
lack of financial resources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
by lowering the amount of financial expenses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Part 1When do people give gifts or presents in your country? - Do you ever take a gift when you visit someone in their home? [Why? / Why not? ] - When did you last receive a gift? [What was it? ] - Do you enjoy looking for gifts for people? [Why? / Why not? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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