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10 1122 second describe an interest or hobby that you enjoyyou should sayhow you become interested in ithow long you have been doing itwhy you enjoy itand explain what benefits you get from this interest or hobby. v.1

10 1122 second describe an interest or hobby that you enjoyyou should sayhow you become interested in ithow long you have been doing itwhy you enjoy itand explain what benefits you get from this interest or hobby. v. 1
It is the opinion of some people that the youngsters should study only those subjects that they like, while others believe that they should study all. This essay agrees with the latter because it ensures a well-rounded development of a child. This essay will discuss both the point of views. Some people believe that if the teenagers are allowed to learn only those subjects that they are interested in, then they are most likely to excel at them. Because of their admiration, students are bound to work hard in order to understand and comprehend its concepts. Instead of cramming or mugging just to achieve the required passing score, they will invest themselves in learning it because of their fascination and curiosity. Despite of the benefits, I disagree with it, because each subject has a unique skill set to offer. Hence, although they are disliked, but they are still required for an overall growth of a teenager. For example, a person who does not study math will always lack in analytical skills. A few groups of people advocate that the students should grasp all their school subjects since each hones a particular trait in them. For example, math develops analytical skills, social studies develop the knowledge about out part while English develops our communication abilities. Irrespective of any career they choose, the fundamentals of every field are imperative to ensure their success. I agree with this because a student who has studied the basics of all the areas, will be more accomplished in his adult-life. To sum up, although focusing on few subjects allows the children to excel at them, it is not advisable because it impedes their overall development. Hence it is of profound importance that the students learn all the subjects to ensure that they get all the skills that these subjects have to offer.
It is the opinion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the youngsters should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they like, while others believe that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
all. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the latter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it ensures a well-rounded development of a child. This essay will discuss both the point of views.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they
are interested
in, then they are most likely to excel at them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their admiration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are bound
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in order to understand and comprehend its concepts.
Instead
of cramming or mugging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to achieve the required passing score, they will invest themselves in learning it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their fascination and curiosity.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the benefits, I disagree with it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
has a unique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set to offer.
Hence
, although they
are disliked
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
still
required for an
overall
growth of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
.
For example
, a person who does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
math will always lack in analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

A few groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should grasp all their school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
since each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "hone"?
hones
a particular trait in them.
For example
, math develops analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
develop the knowledge about out part while English develops our communication abilities. Irrespective of any career they choose, the fundamentals of every field are imperative to ensure their success. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has studied the basics of all the areas, will be more accomplished in his adult-life.

To sum up, although focusing on few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the children to excel at them, it is not advisable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it impedes their
overall
development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is of profound importance that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to ensure that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
offer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 10 1122 second describe an interest or hobby that you enjoyyou should sayhow you become interested in ithow long you have been doing itwhy you enjoy itand explain what benefits you get from this interest or hobby. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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