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2061 Describe a sporting event you enjoyed watching. You should say: what event it waswhat happened at this eventwho you watched it withand explain why you enjoyed watching this event. v.1

2061 Describe a sporting event you enjoyed watching. You should say: what event it waswhat happened at this eventwho you watched it withand explain why you enjoyed watching this event. v. 1
Artificial intelligence and automation, produce robotics which will eventually replace humans and take their manual jobs and tasks. However, there are certain drawbacks which cannot be compared to the increase in productivity, profits of these multinational companies and the costs of these robots which will be gained at the end. Admittedly, there are basic disadvantages in using robots instead of humans as it will consequently lead to an increase in poverty as a result of job loss. This will happen because when people are laid off work, there will be no means to cater for their family, hence hunger will ensue. Another disadvantage to consider is that there will be a serious rise in the gap between the poor and the rich. When the rich manufactures owing these companies employ the services of robots, the profit margin will definitely increase. Therefore, while there will be profit accruing in companies utilizing automation, the difference between the poor and the rich becomes so obvious. Nevertheless, the advantages involved in the application of artificial intelligence can not be over-emphasized because of the reduction in the cost price of product as productivity increases. For example, when the productivity of these companies grows, it will decrease the cost price of the products. In addition, if these companies employ the use of robots, they will spend less or no money on training. This is because robots do not require any form of training unlike humans that needs it. Also, there will be no need to cater for the welfare of the robots. Moreover, another advantage is that the initial investment on robots and automation will pay off in the long run. This will help the companies to recoup the money spent on robots in the future. In conclusion, however, the outlined advantages have the negative sides which increase in the rate of poverty and widening of the gap between the poor and the privileged.
Artificial intelligence and automation, produce robotics which will
eventually
replace humans and take their manual jobs and tasks.
However
, there are certain drawbacks which cannot
be compared
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in productivity, profits of these multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and the costs of these robots which will
be gained
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Admittedly
, there are basic disadvantages in using robots
instead
of humans as it will
consequently
lead to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in poverty
as a result
of job loss. This will happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are laid
off work, there will be no means to cater for their family,
hence
hunger will ensue. Another disadvantage to consider is that there will be a serious rise in the gap between the poor and the rich. When the rich manufactures owing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
employ the services of robots, the profit margin will definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
.
Therefore
, while there will be profit accruing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
utilizing automation, the difference between the poor and the rich becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
obvious.

Nevertheless
, the advantages involved in the application of artificial intelligence can not be over-emphasized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the reduction in the cost price of product as productivity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
.
For example
, when the productivity of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
grows, it will decrease the cost price of the products.
In addition
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
employ the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of robots, they will spend less or no money on training. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
robots do not require any form of training unlike humans that needs it.
Also
, there will be no need to cater for the welfare of the robots.
Moreover
, another advantage is that the initial investment on robots and automation will pay off in the long run. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to recoup the money spent on robots in the future.

In conclusion
,
however
, the outlined advantages have the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the rate of poverty and widening of the gap between the poor and the privileged.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay 2061 Describe a sporting event you enjoyed watching. You should say: what event it waswhat happened at this eventwho you watched it withand explain why you enjoyed watching this event. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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