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#1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

#1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
College is a place that students can go to learn more, get new knowledge and experience. Of course, different people have different reasons for studying in college. For example, some people want to go on to further study after they graduate from the college; some people hope to find a good job after college and also some people wish to change their present situation through studying at college. In my opinion, no matter what reason people study in college for, studying in college is just preparation for their future life. First of all, students can learn new knowledge and gain experiences through the studies at college. There are many teachers and professors with abundant teaching experience who teach students lots of new knowledge and help them to solve the problems in their studies. With their help, students can learn a lot of useful basic and professional knowledge which is very helpful for their future work and study. After they finish their studies in college, students go to work in society and contribute to the different fields. Secondly, students can learn how to organize their own schedule reasonably. Before studying in college, their life is often arranged by their parents and also their studies are sometimes arranged by their teachers. It is very different for them to live and study in college, because students studying in college have to organize everything by hemselves. They have to arrange their free time, such as when to get up, when to do sport activities, when to finish their assignments etc. This is very important experience for students' work and life in the future. Finally, studying in college gives students the opportunity to live with other students and learn how to cooperate with other people. Usually, people feel uncomfortable to live with a stranger, because they do not know each other and perhaps their habits and personalities are different. But in the long run, it is good for them. They have to cooperate with each other and solve a lot of problems that they will face together. Gradually, they can learn how to care for and understand other people. It is a preparation for students to cooperate with other people in society. All in all, students can not only learn lots of new knowledge from books but also can get necessary experience such as how to organize time and how to cooperate with other people. It is very important for their future work and life. There a lot reasons to attend a university or college. I would always recommend young people to start to study after school. It will give you time to think about what you want to do and in addition to that you will find new friends, have a lot of fun and normally better chances at the job market in comparison to people who had not studied.
College is a place that
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students
can go to
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learn
more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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new
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knowledge
and
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experience
.
Of course
,
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different
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people
have
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different
reasons for
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studying
in college.
For example
,
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some
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people
want to go on to
further
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study
after they graduate from the college;
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some
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people
hope to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job after college and
also
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some
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people
wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their present situation through
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studying
at college. In my opinion, no matter what reason
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people
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study
in college for,
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studying
in college is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
preparation for their future life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
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students
can
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learn
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new
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knowledge
and gain
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experiences
through the
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studies
at college. There are
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many
teachers and professors with abundant teaching
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experience
who teach
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students
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lots
of
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new
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knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve the problems in their
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studies
. With their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
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students
can
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learn
a
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lot
of useful basic and professional
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knowledge
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for their future
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work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. After they finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in college,
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students
go to
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work
in society and contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
fields.

Secondly
,
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students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to organize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule
reasonably
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
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studying
in college, their life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arranged by their parents and
also
their
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studies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
arranged by their teachers. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
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study
in college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
organize everything by
Possible spelling mistake found.
hemselves
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
arrange their free time, such as when to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up, when to do sport activities, when to finish their assignments etc. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and life in the future.

Finally
,
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studying
in college gives
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students
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
with
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Usually
,
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people
feel uncomfortable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a stranger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and perhaps their habits and personalities are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the long run, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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cooperate
with each
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other
and solve a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of problems that they will face together.
Gradually
, they can
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learn
how to care for and understand
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is a preparation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society.

All in all,
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students
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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learn
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lots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
necessary
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experience
such as how to organize time and how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperate
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and life. There a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
reasons to attend a university or college. I would always recommend young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
after school. It will give you time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what you want to do and
in addition
to that you will find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends, have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of fun and
normally
better chances
In English, people don't say "at the job". They say, 'on the job' or 'at work'. Did you mean "on the job" or "at work"?
at the job
market
in comparison
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had not studied.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
87Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay #1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
476 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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