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#1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

#1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Currently, shopping in a mall or large shopping centres are becoming more popular in urban life. Therefore, local trade has stopped due to the lack of customers which have various disadvantages in our daily life. This essay will discuss why the negative effects of this development influence the local business and also give some advantage of large shopping centre. In most of the city centre, the opening of large shopping markets is increasing day by day. There are some significant reasons behind this development. Most of these markets are situated very close to the city centre since they have covered all the needs of the inhabitants of the city from household appliances such as electronics, dresses, vegetables, jewelry to grocery items. For this reason, people get all their necessary products in one place which has made their life more convenient than in the past. For example, malls in New york city have various showrooms of world renowned brands in which a customer need not to go different place for their daily needs. This makes the city life comfortable because it requires less time, easy to get desired products. On the other hand, due to the lack of customers, the shops in the local area have stopped their business. This will have negative impacts on the local thus most of the local lost their jobs. Therefore, the life becomes tougher in the country side. They will lose their interest in producing their product. Though, locals are the main producer of the product, they cannot sell their products directly to the customer. The mall's owner buys these things from local and sell these high prices. This will hike the price. In conclusion, the local business is the source of income of mass people. If this income stop, then the local people become frustrated with their life.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in a mall or large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are becoming more popular in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
trade has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
which have various disadvantages in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay will discuss why the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this development influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business and
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantage of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

In most of the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, the opening of large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
markets is increasing day by day. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant reasons behind this development. Most of these markets
are situated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
since they have covered all the needs of the inhabitants of the city from household appliances such as electronics, dresses, vegetables, jewelry to grocery items.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all their necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in one place which has made their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more convenient than in the past.
For example
, malls in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New york
city have various showrooms of world renowned brands in which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
need not
Did you mean "go"?
to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place for their daily needs. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires less time, easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
desired products.

On the other hand
, due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, the shops in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
area have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
their business. This will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
thus
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
lost their jobs.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
becomes tougher in the country side. They will lose their interest in producing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Though,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
are the main producer of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, they cannot sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
directly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
. The mall's owner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
these things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and sell these high prices. This will hike the price.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business is the source of income of mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. If this income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become frustrated with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay #1. People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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