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People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
In the modern era, the news media increased as well as improved day by day and provide worldwide information for everyone, so it is very crucial in our nation. I will explain the positive and negative impact of this statement in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, the news is very vital for individuals and spread wide range of information for everybody. For example, there are several television channels that broadcast news report in the positive way. For that reason, people read the newspaper daily and improve their knowledge skills in various fields such as education, politics, sports and Bollywood etcetera. Moreover, people can update herself day to day with getting daily basis news as well as spread awareness of real concern problems and making help to develop our country in an appropriate way. Thus, the news media play a vital role in everyone life. On the other hand, sometimes news media have an unfavourable impact on the masses life. For instance, news spread celebrity personal issues that reflect a negative effect on the people life. For that reason, new generation takes much interest to read about stars lifestyle and adopt some negative habit instead of gaining useful knowledge. In addition to this, people can choose what they want to see and nowadays technology has provided all types of data which is not beneficial for children and in small age groups of children quickly attractive with these types of news. So, in some situations news is worthless and influenced negative new youth. To conclude, news media are very significant in the entire world. However, news has influenced more positive effect on individual lifestyle.
In the modern era, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
increased
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
day by day and provide worldwide information for everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in our nation. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact of this statement in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for individuals and spread wide range of information for everybody.
For example
, there are several television channels that broadcast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read the newspaper daily and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in various fields such as education, politics, sports and Bollywood etcetera.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can update herself day to day with getting daily basis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as well
as spread awareness of real concern problems and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop our country
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play a vital role in everyone life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have an
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
impact on the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "masses'" or "mass's", "masse's"?
masses
life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
spread celebrity personal issues that reflect a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life. For that reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation takes much interest to read about stars lifestyle and adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
habit
instead
of gaining useful knowledge.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose what they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and nowadays technology has provided all types of data which is not beneficial for children and in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age groups of children
quickly
attractive with these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "situations'" or "situation's"?
situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is worthless and influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
youth.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant in the entire world.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has influenced more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on individual lifestyle.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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