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#62 What do you want most in a friend – someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. v.1

#62 What do you want most in a friend – someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. v. 1
In the contemporary era, it is argued that the personalities of the people are predefined and it is a consequence of genes they get from their parents before birth. I am personally inclined to agree with the statement that the characters of a person are passed from their parents. But, it can be altered. To begin with, the character is one, which built before birth genetically. Moreover, the personality and attitude of the people are directly linked with the genes which they obtained from their parents before birth. Also, most of the time they behave similarly as their parents and they react to different situations same as their guardians due to types of genes they gained. If a person who has an aggressive mind, then it would be highly chanced that his or her parents short tempered. To cite an example, a recent survey showed that 60% of people reacted and they possessed similar personalities as their parents had. Hence, character and nature of a person is pre-exist. However, the character of the masses can be changed through different environments, guidance and learning from the tutor. Firstly, if a single person with aggressive and loneliness may live with a happy family, then the nature of a person would definitely be improved into a better one. In addition to this, guidance and learning from teacher both are good for the people in order to alter their personalities because the recent time most of the children may successful to change personalities due to spending time in better conditions under supervision. Thus, the nature of a person can be changed through learning and distinct ambiance. To recapitulate, although some people hold the view that characters of a person are predefined but with the passage of time it can be modified through guidance.
In the contemporary era, it
is argued
that the personalities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are predefined
and it is a consequence of genes they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
birth. I am
personally
inclined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
are passed
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it can
be altered
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
is one, which built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
birth
genetically
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and attitude of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
directly
linked with the genes which they obtained from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
birth.
Also
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they behave
similarly
as their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they react to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situations same as their guardians due to types of genes they gained. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who has an aggressive mind, then it would be
highly
chanced that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
short tempered. To cite an example, a recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reacted and
they possessed similar personalities as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
and nature of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-exist
.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
character
of the masses can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environments, guidance and learning from the tutor.
Firstly
, if a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with aggressive and loneliness may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a happy family, then the nature of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would definitely be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
into a better one.
In addition
to this, guidance and learning from teacher both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to alter their personalities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
most of the children may successful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
personalities due to spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in better conditions under supervision.
Thus
, the nature of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
through learning and distinct ambiance.

To recapitulate, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characters
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
are predefined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the passage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it can
be modified
through guidance.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay #62 What do you want most in a friend – someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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