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1. Describe the transportation system in your city/town2. what are your suggestion to reduce traffic congestion and pollution in your city/town3. what are the entertainment facilities in your town/city v.1

1. Describe the transportation system in your city/town2. what are your suggestion to reduce traffic congestion and pollution in your city/town3. what are the entertainment facilities in your town/city v. 1
Nowadays, technology is flourishing by leap and bounds and providing new avenues to keep yourself updated. Many people around the world, believe that E-book and modern technology would replace totally that traditional journal and magazines. I do not completely agree this view, because a conventional paper is cheaper and portable. There are many reasons for traditional press and magazines will exist as long as possible. Firstly, so many people have the habit of reading a newspaper with coffee, which was programmed in their subconscious mind and it was very difficult to change their habits. Furthermore, that conventional newspapers are inexpensive, which means every person can buy easily. Secondly, reading a newspaper is a very pleasant moment for many of them because it creates a more focus to that subject. In recent research, spending more time in e-book would affect our health such as eye problem and headache. Although e-books have positive trends in today’s world, it would create many distractions However, we should admit advantage of e-books because it has more specification. In one instance, we can save and share the news to our families and friends at anytime and anywhere. In the modern era, some people do not have time to read the magazine, so electronic device is helping them by giving that news in videos and audios. But cost of electronic device is very costly, when compared to newspapers To conclude, e-books has many advantages when compare to traditional daily paper such as downloading news and sharing that news to communities, but magazine are cheap and cheerful for people and it doesn’t affect their health
Nowadays, technology is flourishing by leap and bounds and providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
avenues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
yourself updated.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world, believe that E-book and modern technology would replace
totally
that traditional journal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
. I do not completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a conventional paper is cheaper and portable.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for traditional press and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
will exist as long as possible.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the habit of reading a newspaper with coffee, which
was programmed
in their subconscious mind and it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habits.
Furthermore
, that conventional newspapers are inexpensive, which means every person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
easily
.
Secondly
, reading a newspaper is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pleasant moment for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it creates a more focus to that subject. In recent research, spending more time in e-book would affect our health such as eye problem and headache. Although e-books have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, it would create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
distractions


However
, we should admit advantage of e-books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has more specification. In one instance, we can save and share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to our families and friends at anytime and anywhere. In the modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have time to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
electronic device is helping them by giving that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in videos and audios.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
cost of electronic device is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly, when compared to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
newspapers


To conclude
, e-books has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages when compare to traditional daily paper such as downloading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and sharing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to communities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazine
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and cheerful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and it doesn’t affect their health
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Describe the transportation system in your city/town2. what are your suggestion to reduce traffic congestion and pollution in your city/town3. what are the entertainment facilities in your town/city v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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