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18/10/2017 A recent study showed that both developing and developed countries prosper because of the economic growth. People from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. v.2

18/10/2017 A recent study showed that both developing and developed countries prosper because of the economic growth. People from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. v. 2
The economy is steadily growing in many countries across the globe; however, citizens of wealthy states appear to be happier today than in the past while inhabitants of the third-world countries claim they are less satisfied with their lives nowadays than before. Below some possible reasons for this trend will be discussed and plausible solutions will be given. Primarily, economic growth brings different fruits to the developed and developing states. To illustrate, for those who dwell in such countries as the United Kingdom, Germany, France, the United States of America, the growth means already high standards of living, social services and benefits will keep increasing consistently. At the same time, folks that live in poor countries will likely remain poor because finances generated by the growing economy are spread unevenly. In the worst case scenario, the money may be accumulated in hands of a small group of powerful individuals and an average individual will not feel any positive alteration at all. Consequently, people’s perception of happiness differs from state to state. However, the trend in discussion may be alleviated. Firstly, unwealthy governments must invest heavily in the mass media that can become an efficient tool of propaganda. Telling people repeatedly about the achieved success and demonstrating happy examples of lucky people who manage to make a fortune will likely create an optimistic attitude to life among dwellers. So, this hope and enthusiasm will have an advantageous impact on their happiness. Secondly, business people and politicians of well-off states could invest finances in economies of developing ones. Financing construction of roads, subways and medical institutions would skyrocket the quality of living of all citizens of the poor states. Thus, their happiness would probably rocket. Those are several possible actions to be taken to tackle to issue. In my opinion, economic growth does not always mean prosperity for all citizens, but the problematic situation may be improved tremendously if developing states work with public’s opinions and rich ones invest resources in third-world economies in a meaningful way.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is
steadily
growing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
across the globe;
however
, citizens of wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
appear to be happier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
than in the past while inhabitants of the third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
claim they are less satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
nowadays than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Below
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible reasons for this trend will
be discussed
and plausible solutions will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

Primarily
, economic growth brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fruits to the developed and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
. To illustrate, for those who dwell in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as the United Kingdom, Germany, France, the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
of America, the growth means already high standards of living, social services and benefits will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
increasing
consistently
. At the same time, folks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will likely remain poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
finances generated by the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
are spread
unevenly
. In the worst case scenario, the money may
be accumulated
in hands of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group of powerful individuals and an average individual will not feel any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
alteration at all.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perception of happiness differs from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
to state.

However
, the trend in discussion may
be alleviated
.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest
heavily
in the mass media that can become an efficient tool of propaganda. Telling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
repeatedly
about the achieved success and demonstrating happy examples of lucky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who manage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fortune will likely create an optimistic attitude to life among dwellers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this hope and enthusiasm will have an advantageous impact on their happiness.
Secondly
, business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and politicians of well-off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
could invest finances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
of developing ones. Financing construction of roads, subways and medical institutions would skyrocket the quality of living of all citizens of the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
.
Thus
, their happiness would
probably
rocket. Those are several possible actions to
be taken
to tackle to issue.

In my opinion, economic growth does not always mean prosperity for all citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the problematic situation may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
tremendously
if developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
work with public’s opinions and rich ones invest resources in third-world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
Consider replacing "in a meaningful way" with the adverb for "meaningful"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a meaningful way
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay 18/10/2017 A recent study showed that both developing and developed countries prosper because of the economic growth. People from developing countries are happier than before while people from developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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