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16. 10. 2017Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

16. 10. 2017Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. v. 2
Many aver decision-making ought to be done solely by management; while others claim involving workers in the process could be advantageous as well. Below both prospects will be discussed in details and author’s opinion will be given. On the one hand, analysis of information and the process of making a decision must be fulfilled by professionals. Firstly, managers acquire appropriate education in finances, economics and have skills of working with data that were forged while studying at University. Thus, those highly prepared and well-read individuals should be responsible for making difficult and challenging decisions. Secondly, those who work in the management positions have access to firm’s secrets and closed information that, by definition, is not available to outsiders due to dangerous consequences of handling the sensitive papers into wrong hands. So, only managers possess sufficient information to make right decisions. Those are a couple of facts that buttress the first point of view. On the other hand, a participation of employees in decision-making could bring some fruits. Primarily, workers that feel control over company’s policy are more motivated to work harder and more productive than those who are separated from the crucial process. A sociological research carried out in the UK in the 1980s showcased employees' productivity may skyrocket up to 146 percent if the staff have a word in making decisions. Furthermore, some resolutions may be concerned the manufacturing process about which CEO and other managers likely have a vague understanding. Allowing personnel to speak up their opinions about such issues will probably make the decisions more efficient and thoughtful. Those are several benefits of employees’ participating in shaping company’s choices. In my opinion, the majority of strategical decisions must be done by a management group that has all needed data and knacks to foresee the future turns in development of markets. However, including personnel in making decisions about work process can encourage the staff to work more vigorously and increase business effectiveness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
aver decision-making ought to
be done
solely
by management; while others claim involving workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
could be advantageous
as well
. Below both prospects will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and author’s opinion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, analysis of information and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be fulfilled
by professionals.
Firstly
, managers acquire appropriate education in finances, economics and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of working with data that
were forged
while studying at University.
Thus
, those
highly
prepared and well-read individuals should be responsible for making difficult and challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
Secondly
, those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the management positions have access to firm’s secrets and closed information that, by definition, is not available to outsiders due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
consequences of handling the sensitive papers into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
managers possess sufficient information to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. Those are a couple of facts that buttress the
first
point of view.

On the other hand
, a participation of employees in decision-making could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fruits.
Primarily
, workers that feel control over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s policy are more motivated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder and more productive than those who
are separated
from the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. A sociological research carried out in the UK in the 1980s showcased
Possible spelling mistake found.
employees&
#039; productivity may skyrocket up to 146 percent if the staff have a word in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resolutions may
be concerned
the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
about which CEO and other managers likely have a vague understanding. Allowing personnel to speak up their opinions about such issues will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
more efficient and thoughtful. Those are several benefits of employees’ participating in shaping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s choices.

In my opinion, the majority of strategical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
by a management group that has all needed data and knacks to foresee the future turns in development of markets.
However
, including personnel in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
can encourage the staff to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
vigorously
and increase business effectiveness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay 16. 10. 2017Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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