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07/10/2017Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted on the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

07/10/2017Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted on the media. v. 1
Many aver giving detailed information about crimes committed via TV and printed media has an adverse impact on the public. Thus, this practice ought to be prohibited. I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance is based will be discussed in details. On the other hand, publishing detailed criminal description leads to some disadvantageous consequences. Firstly, people who routinely and regularly watch programs and read articles in magazines that are full of bloody details and horrible nuances of crimes have become accustomed to this after a while. So, violence in its many forms becomes a new norm of life. Secondly, those who were involved in the gory events such as victims, survivors and their relatives may be hurt by unwanted public attention drawn to them by the publications. For instance, TV reporters and writers often pursue those who somehow suffered from violence and illegal actions and a young victim of a rape or a father of a killed daughter will be repeatedly asked to give interviews on the painful topics. Those are main disadvantages of the discussed trend. On the other hand, demonstration and description of crimes on the screen and paper have some positive effects. Primarily, rising people’s awareness about actions and circumstances that provoke violence may tremendously help people to avoid being involved in such horrible events. To exemplify, if people knew that robbers usually break into houses that do not have a dog in the backyard or inside the home, the informed public would likely buy a dog to deter criminals. Furthermore, the publishing detailed info about committed crimes will likely attract people’s attention to the problematic situation and this wave of discontent will probably force politicians, government officials and police officers to take some actions to tackle the problem. Thus, the number of violent crimes committed will decrease. In other words, the discussed trend has some advantageous aftermaths. In conclusion, although a detailed description of law violations has some shortages, the merits of this practice definitely outweigh them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
aver giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed via TV and printed media has an adverse impact on the public.
Thus
, this practice ought to
be prohibited
. I disagree with this prospect and below the reasons on which my stance
is based
will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the other hand
, publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
criminal description leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantageous consequences.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
routinely
and
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
programs and read articles in magazines that are full of bloody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and horrible nuances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
have become accustomed to this after a while.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, violence in its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forms becomes a new norm of life.
Secondly
, those who
were involved
in the gory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as victims, survivors and their relatives may
be hurt
by unwanted public attention drawn to them by the publications.
For instance
, TV reporters and writers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pursue those who somehow suffered from violence and illegal actions and a young victim of a rape or a father of a killed daughter will be
repeatedly
asked to give interviews on the painful topics. Those are main disadvantages of the discussed trend.

On the other hand
, demonstration and description of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
on the screen and paper have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
Primarily
, rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness about actions and circumstances that provoke violence may
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid
being involved
in such horrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. To exemplify, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
knew that robbers
usually
break into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
that do not have a dog in the backyard or inside the home, the informed public would likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a dog to deter criminals.
Furthermore
, the publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
info about committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will likely attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention to the problematic situation and this wave of discontent will
probably
force politicians,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials and police officers to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions to tackle the problem.
Thus
, the number of violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed will decrease.
In other words
, the discussed trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantageous aftermaths.

In conclusion
, although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detailed
description of law violations has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortages, the merits of this practice definitely outweigh them.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay 07/10/2017Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted on the media. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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